I 'AVEN'T TOLD 'IM, NOT UP TO NOW!
 
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It doesn't always do to let a mug know every-fing
Can't yer rumble? I can! Look at Charlie Piecan
There's a bloke as 'appy as the birds upon the wing
Charlie don't believe in worryin' and grievin'
'E gave me half a quid a day or two ago
To back a horse, the gee-gee came in last of course
'E doesn't grumble but takes 'is losin' like a don
'E little finks that I forgot to put the money on.

Chorus: I 'aven't told 'im, not up to Now!
And if I did, very likely it 'ud only cause a row
'E doesn't know, I don't see any reason why 'e should
'E wouldn't be any 'appier if 'e did, so what's the good?


Now Charlie 'e's a bloke that likes to make a lot of show
When 'e's got the brass 'e make up very classy
Dresses in the very latest fashion, don't you know
Wears no end of joolery, and all that kind of foolery
I've taken any amount of fivers off him for diamond rings
And solitairs and other fings
'E brags about 'em, but I've no reson to complain
'E doesn't dream, they cost a bob a dozen down the 'Lane'.

Chorus:

I used to fink my sister would be left upon the shelf
So just as a finale, I 'itched 'er on to Charlie
Told 'im to look after 'er and keep 'er to 'imself
Nothing could be nicer, Charlie's going to splice 'er
She's gone and told 'im she's only twenty-three
As I'm alive, she's getting on for forty-five
And tho' 'e's always a-taking Liza for a walk
'E 'asn't found that one of 'er legs is only cork.

Chorus:
 
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Written and composed by Fred Leigh/Fred Murry & George Le Brunn
Performed by Alec Hurley (1871-1913)
 
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