I BORROWED IT
 
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Honesty's a wondrous thing,
l always let folks know it,
And when l haven't got a rap,
That is the time I show it;
Last night l saw a handkerchief,
From out a pocket flowing,
I hadn't got a rag myself,
And he ne'er felt it going.

Chorus: So I borrowed it, I borrowed it,
Only for a little time,
I borrowed it, I borrowed it,
Surely that's no crime.
I'd a gaze on it, couldn't raise on it,
'Twas like a rough old sack,
No sneak in it, wiped beak in it,
Then put it gently back.

Honesty's a Splendid thing,
I preach it day and nightly,
l try to teach my little dog,
To do the thing that's rightly.
My dog won't learn the honest plan,
The greedy little glutton,
Last night from off a butcher's stall,
He draggerl a leg of mutton.

Chorus: So I borrowed it, I borrowed it!
Only for a little time,
I borrowed it, just borrowed it!
Surely that's no crime.
I smelled at it, dog yelled at it,
I at that leg did hack,
E'er long l own l cleaned the bone,
Then put it gently back.

'Twas yesterday I felt a feel,
As if I'd like to wet it,
My throat was parched, as if 'twas starched,
A drink! where could l get it?
At length I reached a Public House,
And through the doorway peeping,
I saw a lovely glass of ale,
Beside it someone sleeping.

Chorus:
Chorus: So I borrowed it, I borrowed it,
Only for a little time,
I borrowed it, I borrowed it,
Surely that's no crime.
Got grip on it, each lip on it,
Swallowed it in a crack,
From glass did mop, each blessed drop,
Then put it gently back.

l called upon a friend one day,
Found him asleep and snoring,
And as I came down stairs again,
I found the rain was pouring;
I, in the doorway stand awhile,
Like our old friend “Sam Weller’
Then round the lobby cast my eye,
And saw a nice umbrella.

Chorus: So I borrowed it, I borrowed it,
Only for a little time,
I borrowed it, I borrowed it,
Surely that's no crime.
Wind 'blowed' on it, wiped road on it,
Settled it in a crack,
Storm busted it, l dusted it,
Then put it gently back.

 
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Written and composed by Felix McGlennon
Performed by James Fawn (1850-1923)
From monologues.co.uk Music Hall Lyrics Collection
 
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