I BOWED TO SUPERIOR KNOWLEDGE
 
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I oft indulge in argument and sometimes come off best
On any subject I'm at home - you put me to the test
If any one knows more than I, I give way which is right
So when a six foot navvy said, 'I'll bet you- you can't fight.'
Chorus: Of course I knew better than he did
I'd learn'd lots of things up at college
He'd a fist though like brick, It would be no use to kick
So I bowed to superior knowledge.

Last night the barmaid at the pub said, 'Sir, what can I get?'
I said, 'Good wench - wines from the wood I'd fain partake of, pet.'
I partook, took, partook again, and reached home after dark
The wife insinuated that I'd over-stepped the mark.
Chorus: Of course I knew better than she did
I'd learn'd lots of things up at college
She said, 'You're drunk again.' I was too full to explain
So I bowed to superior knowledge.

I've got a double somewhere, so, at least, I understand
One day a fellow came up, shook me warmly by the hand
He said, 'I've come to pay you that fiver.' I saw sparks
I said, 'you don't owe me five pounds' He said, 'Now, stop your larks.'
Chorus: Of course I knew better than he did
I'd learn'd lots of things up at college
A lump came in my throat as I grabbed that five pound note
And I bowed to superior knowledge.

My country called upon me once, and didn't call in vain
Before a judge and jury - there was something to explain
Like a bird with a broken wing I fluttered in the dock
The jury found me guilty, and it gave me quite a shock.
Chorus: Of course I knew better than they did
I'd learn'd lots of things up at college
There was twelve of them, you see, but only one of me
So I bowed to superior knowledge.
 
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Performed by George Robey (1869-1954)
 
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