I DO LIKE TO LISTEN TO THE CHURCH BELLS
 
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Matrimony is a glorious institution,
Man was never meant to live alone.
Every fellow for the good of his constitution,
Should have a little wife to call his own.
The day a fellow's married, you hear some people say,
That they don't like to see the fellow, throwing himself away

Chorus: I do like to listen to the church bells,
I do like to hear the organ play.
I do like to see the happy couple in the church,
Upon their wedding day.
I do like to congratulate the bride groom,
Because it's plain to see.
That I'm not the only silly josser in the world
Here's another man to keep me company

There's one place where I can always find consolation
At the church where I was sacrificed
And I glory in the horrible situation
That some poor bounder there is getting spliced
I rubbed my hands with glee to see him standing there so meak
And know that I could save him if I only chose to speak

Chorus:
 
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Performed by Mark Sheridan (1864-1918)
From monologues.co.uk Music Hall Lyrics Collection
 
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