I DO LIKE TO SING IN THE BATH
 
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Hand me the loofah. Give me another sponge. What a wonderful view
from this window. Keep the water running.


Some men have a passion for golfing, for tennis or ludo, maybe
Some fellows, I think, have a leaning to drink
And there's some like an egg for their tea
Well, such pleasures have never enthralled me
They leave me most frigidly cold
But I have a vice which is really nice
And it's one that soon can be told
I love to sing in my bath
It's quite an obsession with me
When the water is frosty, I sing bits of Tosti
His style is so passionate, I love to splash in it
Songs to my loved one I sing, of roses all strewn in her path
And though sometimes the buds get all mixed up with the suds
Yet I do love to sing in my bath.

Saying goodbye to my sweetheart, I stood at her gateway one night
The stars overhead and her father in bed
And everything cheery and bright
She said, 'This is life's greatest pleasure
When I have you here by my side
But say, dearest boy, what is your greatest joy?'
I thought for a while, then I replied
'Well I love to sing in my bath
You'll hear me, dear, when we are wed
'Cos fearless as Caesar, I dive off the geyser
And then, somewhat chokily, let it rip vocally
When we are married, my dear, we'll tread the harmonious path
But there's one little row Oh, I do hope that you'll allow
Oh, I should love to sing in my bath.

For I do love to sing in my bath
From the time I get in till I'm out
With ballads I struggle, one toe in the plug 'ole
I sing bits of Chaminade, neighbours all dammin' 'ard
When I am dead in my grave, they'll write
Here lies poor McGrath
And wherever he's gone, well it's twenty to one
That he still, yes he still, that he still loves to sing in his bath.
 
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Performed by Alfred Lester (1872-1925)
 
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