I DON'T ADMIRE THE GIRL IN WHITE
(In The Army)
 
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A soldier's occupation is to captivate the girls
But please remember, too, that any sort won't do
We have our whims and fancies, and are often hard to please
It's not the biggest waist that always stands the biggest squeeze
I'm just a bit particular, and though I'm fancy free
What captivates the amateur would never do for me.

Chorus: I don't admire the girl in white,
Although to some she seems all right
The girl in red would never do
I don't admire the girl in blue
But the girl in black beats all the three
She's just the sort with L.S.D.
And that's all that's jolly well troubling me
In the army.


The girl in white is always peevish and is always so select
So careful with her clothes, so timid with her beaux
The girl in red will splutter out, and give your nerves a shock
'Oh look, you've spread a pound of pipe-clay all along my frock.'
She sobs and sighs, 'It serves me right.' Then in a vale of tears
She mutters, 'What will Mammy say?' and then she disappears.

Chorus: I don't admire the girl in white
She must be in by eight at night
The girl in red you can't caress
Because to squeeze her spoils her dress
But the girl in black just shouts, 'What O'
Puts her arms around you, and she won't let go
And that's all you jolly well want, you know
In the army.


The girl in black is my ideal, for, on a muddy day
There's no word can express, the way she'll raise her dress
Exposing just a bit of lace and shoe of extra gloss
I've missed my pension often just to watch her go across
Some people say I'm colour-blind, let them say what they will
I'm not the slightest prejudiced - it's just a fancy, still,

Chorus: I don't admire the girl in white
For she complains if you hold her tight
Kiss the girl in red or blue
And all the family's after you
But the girl in black's been there before
Been married twice, is game for more
And experience is what we all adore
In the army.
 
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Written and composed by William Hargreaves - 1916
Performed by Ella Shields (1879-1952)
 
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