I DON'T KNOW WHERE HE GETS HIS IDEAS
 
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I've got a son, a wonder! he's a really clever boy
I think he gets his talent from his pa
It strikes me if he goes on going as he's going on
Some day my little son will be a star
The pictures that he paints, well, there wondeful to view
He'd be upset if he thought I was praising him to you
He's such an unassumimg lad, whatever that may mean
He's hot as mustard, 'pon my word he's champion and keen.

Chorus: I don't know where he gets his ideas from
His latest little picture is a sight
It represents the Dreadnought in a snow-storm
It's nothing but some spots of black and white
You cannot see the Dreadnought for the snow-storm
He says, 'You'll have to wait until it clears.'
I know he gets his colours and his brushes from the oil shop
But I don't know where he gets his ideas.


His style is after Turner, and a long way after too
But still he's after Turner, you'll agree
If Turner were alive now, and he heard me saying this
It strikes me Turner would be after me
The boy wants us for models, and of course we like to please
Last night he said to me, 'Dad go down on your hands and knees.'
I said, 'Whatever for, boy? such a pose is infradig.'
He said, 'Because I want to draw a picture of a pig.'

Chorus: I don't know where he gets his ideas from
His animal collection is so true
That if you saw them hanging on the walls there
You'd fancy you were standing in the Zoo
He's drawn a splendid picture of a monkey
I'm certain it's a monkey by its ears
Unless he's seen a photo of me or of his mother
Well, I don't know where he gets his ideas.


He sold one of his pictures for twenty-one and six
The frame cost twenty shillings by the way
Well, hardly by the way, it's really more like buy the frame
He did some splendid drawings yesterday
I don't know who he takes his drawing talent from, I'm sure
I know it doesn't come from me, for I could never draw
I'd draw a truck, or draw a fowl, but still, that's an aside
To draw some actresses in chalk the little fellow's tried.

Chorus: I don't know where he gets his ideas from
He's made a pretty sketch of Zena Dare
He's drawn her on the impulse of the moment
Or I should say, he's drawn her on a chair
He's made a chalk design of Marie Studholme
It's not bad for a boy of seven years
He gets his cheek from me, and gets his chalk from our milkman
But I don't know where he gets his ideas.


They say the Royal Academy is open to my son
That's if he pays a shilling to go in
I did hope the Academy would hang one of his works
I showed them one, but they said, with a grin
'We couldn't hang that in here, but don't let that dishearten you,
They'd hang it round at Wandsworth jail, and hang him with it too.'
His sketch of Primrose Hill for fifty pounds I wouldn't swap
It's just a little green hill with one primrose on top.

Chorus: I don't know where he gets his ideas from
He's drawn a little field upon the right
That's Beaconsfield, but you'll say, 'Why one primrose?'
That may look rather funny at first sight
But ev'rybody breathing knows a primrose
Has meant conservative for many years
You can't be liberal with 'em, so he's only painted one, you see
I don't know where he gets his ideas.
 
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Written and composed by Frank Leo - 1908
Performed by Harry Randall (1857-1932)
 
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