I FELT QUITE SORRY FOR THE FELLOW
 
div
 

Some people glory in a pal's distress,
I never do, I really must confess.
Once I remember in the bye-gone days,
My pal got married like a lot more jays;
There at the altar with his bride he stood,
I stuck beside him as a best man should,
He was as timid as an old tom-cat,
Nervously playing with his new silk hat,

Chorus. I felt sorry for the fellow, do you see?
I felt quite sorry for the fellow,
There he stood and looked a perfect jay,
He didn't seem to know exactly what to say.
When the parson said, 'The ring,' (silly fool)
Took the ring off his umberella,
And everybody giggled when he stuck it on her thumb;
I felt quite sorry for the feller!

I had a holiday, but had no sense,
I put myself to such a great expense,
I didn't go alone like most folks do,
But like a muggins took my best girl too;
We sat canoodling on the beach one day,
Some dirty tramp who chanced to come that way,
Sat down beside us and he glanced at me,
It seemed to be a look of jealousy,

Chorus. I felt sorry for the fellow, do you see?
I felt quite sorry for the fellow,
He said, "Once I had a girl like you,
And I would cuddle her the same as what you do."
I have such a tender heart, don't yer know ?
And I felt I should like to beller,
I said, "If you have lost yer girl, come here and cuddle mine!"
I felt quite sorry for the feller!

I'm always looked on as a perfect dunce,
I went to Stratford on the Avon once,
Somebody said, "I think you ought to see
'Shakespeare's Cottage.'" "Oh," I said, "who's he?"
He said, "He wrote 'Macbeth', I thought you knew,
'Hamlet,' 'The merry wives of Windsor,' too,"
I went and saw the house as it was near,
I said, "A clever man like him lives here?"

Chorus. I felt sorry for the fellow, d'yer see?
I felt quite sorry for the fellow;
Said I, "What a clever man Bill is;"
Everybody there at me began to quiz,
One old lady stared so hard, it was rude,
And I felt half inclined to tell her ;
But when she said, "What! don't you know that Mr. Shakespeare's dead?"
I felt quite sorry for the feller.

When anybody's in a fix, you see,
They always have my deepest sympathy,
Once I was strolling by the sad seaside,
I saw a fellow in the flowing tide;
He swam about for quite an hour or more,
And as I looked round on the golden shore,
There on the pebbles sat a lady fair,
I thought, "He can't come out while she sits there!"

Chorus: I felt sorry for the fellow, do you see?
I felt quite sorry for the fellow;
There he splashed about the briny foam,
Seemed as if he would like the lady to go home;
There she stuck beside the poor chap's clothes,
So I thought I would go and tell her,
When she said, "Thick-head! fat-head! fool! that's only my old man."
I felt quite sorry for the feller.

 
div
 
Written and composed by Frank Leo - 1900
Performed by Mark Sheridan (1867-1918)
From monologues.co.uk Music Hall Lyrics Collection
 
div
 
 
home spaceA spaceB spaceC spaceD spaceE spaceF spaceG spaceH spaceI spaceJ spaceK spaceL spaceM spaceN spaceO spaceP spaceQ spaceR spaceS spaceT spaceU spaceV spaceW spaceX spaceY spaceZ