I MUST GO HOME TONIGHT
 
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Jones was a fellow who went to pace
With all his youthful might.
He took a great delight
In staying out all the night
When the people were going to bed
Around the west he'd roam
He'd go to pubs, he'd go to clubs,
But never would go home.
One night inside the club
He gave his pals a fright.
When he said: 'I'm going home,'
And wished them all goodnight.
They thought that he was joking,
And they all laughed out aloud,
But Jones was very serious
As he shouted to the crowd:

Chorus: 'Well I must go home tonight.
I must go home tonight.
I don't care if it's snowing, blowing,
I'm going.
I only got married this morning
And it fills me with delight.
I'll stay out as long as you like next week
But I must go home tonight.'

Why off to the station he made a dash
To see about his train,
To take him home again,
But he asked all in vain.
They said there's none running at all tonight
To where you want to go.
The traffic is suspended for
The line's blocked up with snow.
He walked up and down the platform
Anything but gay.
Said Jones: 'I would tramp it
If I only knew the way.'
The porter said: 'You'll have to wait
Till morning I'm afraid.'
But Jones said: 'That's impossible.
I cannot be delayed.

Why out of the station he made a rush
And in the street did land.
He yelled and waved his hand
For a taxi off the stand.
Gave his address to the driver and
In confidence agreed
To give him half a sov'reign
If he put on extra speed.
Smash went the taxi
For the speed was much too high
Said Jones: 'I don't live up here,'
As he shot into the sky.
He fell on the pavement
And a p'liceman cried 'Hello!
We'll take him to the hospital.'
But Jones he whispered 'No.

Chorus:

Chorus: And I must go home tonight.
I must go home tonight.
I don't care if it's snowing, blowing,
I'm going.
I only got married this morning
And it fills me with delight.
I'll stay out as long as you like next week
But I must go home tonight.'

 
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Written and composed by William Hargreaves - 1909
Performed by Billy Williams (1877-1915)
From monologues.co.uk Music Hall Lyrics Collection
 
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