I SIGH FOR HER IN VAIN
( Beautiful Sal )
 
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I'll sing you a song, it's not very long,
But pray give me your attention,
Of Sarah Bellew, a girl I once knew,
Who lived in the Hampstead Road.
She gained an honest livelihood,
By washing for the gentry;
She was so gentle and so good,
But lively as a toad.

Chorus: Oh, my! Oh, Dear!
I sigh for her in vain,
Such a scruptious gal,
As beautiful Sal,
I'll never behold again.

I often would pass this beautiful lass,
While washing she was at her window;
With her arms in a tub, she'd rub and she'd scrub,
From morning 'til late at e'en.
I'd press my nose against the pane,
To catch a glimpse of Sarah,
But alas, I always looked in vain,
For I never could see for the steam.

Chorus:

Unhappy young man, I wanted a plan,
To get introduced to Sarah;
I thought how complete, if to her I could speak,
My happiness then would be.
One shirt I owned, yes that was all,
For a month or more I'd worn it,
Tho' my stock of linen was but small,
I resolved she should wash it for me.

Chorus:

I wrapped it up, small collar and all,
Made it a neat little parcel;
Walked to her house, sleek as a mouse,
To leave her my shirt to scrub:
Yes, there she is, look where she stands,
With elbows bare, she sees me;
Wipes the soapy suds off her hands,
Then gracefully leans on her tub.

Chorus:

I my business I explained, thus one point was gained,
I'd spoken to darling Sarah;
Encouraged by this, I longed for a kiss,
How to get, ah! that was the rub;
While she washed, I told her of my love,
Put my arm around her waist, when
She gave me a most tremendous shove,
And tumbled me into her tub.

Chorus:

I'll never forget, disgusted and wet,
I rushed from the gaze of Sarah;
Unhappy my lot, my linen forgot,
In the hurry of going away.
Thus at one fell swoop I lost dear Sal,
My poor deluded stirt, too,
And I've never loved another gal
Since that most unfortunate day.

Chorus:
 
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Written, composed and performed by Arthur Lloyd (1840-1904)
From monologues.co.uk Music Hall Lyrics Collection
 
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