I WANT TO GO HOME AGAIN
 
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I shall never forget the day - the day when I was breeched
Mother she dressed me up so gay, told me to go in the street to play
I went out for a bit of a walk, but soon I began to cry
Some nice old girl said, 'What's the matter?'
I sobbed and said, said I,

Chorus: 'I want to go home again! home again! home again!
Don't think it's a trifle that's making me complain
I feel so funny, oh dear oh lor,
Mother has made a mistake I'm sure
Put on my breeches behind before
I want to go home again.'


I remember a certain girl - we often used to meet
She was a wee bit gone on me, once she invited me round to tea
After tea, in the parlour we sat. My tummy was full, and so
When she said, 'Don't you want to kiss us?'
I said, 'Selina, no.'

Chorus: 'I want to go home again! home again! home again!
Don't think it's a trifle that's making me complain
You must be careful - indeed you must
Digging your thumb in my 'upper crust'
Stop it, Selina, or I shall bust
I want to go home again.'


I was very desirous once of sailing on the sea
But when I got on the ocean swell I wasn't feeling partic'lar well
I'd been dining on faggots and pork, and part of a saveloy
At last I went and saw the skipper and said, 'Look here, old boy!

Chorus: 'I want to go home again! home again! home again!
Don't think it's a trifle that's making me complain
I feel so bad, I'm afraid to talk
I ate too much of that loin of pork
Do let a fellow get out and walk
I want to go home again.'


My old woman and me one day we took a country stroll
But when we felt we needed rest we must have sat on a 'wops's nest
I felt something a-nipping at me, the feeling was rather queer
My wife said, 'John, you don't look very happy.'
I said, 'I'm not, my dear!

Chorus: 'I want to go home again! home again! home again!
Don't think it's a trifle that's making me complain
Excuse me running away from you
Something has got up my trousers, Lou.'
She gave a wriggle and said, 'Me too!
I want to go home again.'
 
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Performed by Will Dalton
 
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