I WANT YOU TO NOTICE MY LEGGINGS
 
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Now, I'm a feller that's fond of dress,I never do things by halves
I bought some leggings, and, like the cow, I think a lot of my calves
They cost me eleven-and-six the pair. The leggings I mean, of course
They say I look very smart, but still I really require a horse.

Chorus: The song I'm going to sing is new
But if you don't want to hear it all through
There's one thing I want you all to do
I want you to notice my leggings.


I wear my leggings the whole day long, and everyone expects
I go to bed in 'em every night, I would, but the wife objects
The night I bought 'em I wore them home, so happy was I, you know
I danced with joy, but the floor gave way - I hung in the room below.

Chorus: The folks said, 'Heavens! what's this we see?'
Said I, 'Only me, get on with your tea
For this intrusion you'll pardon me
But I want you to notice my leggings.


This morn I sat in a railway train when something occurred to me
To pull the chain for the train to stop, I did, and it stopped, you see
The guard got off, and the driver too, and toddled along the line
They passed the carriages one by one and when they arrived at mine,

Chorus: The guard said, 'Why did you pull the chain?'
I said, (as I put one leg from the train)
'It's all right now, you can start again
But I want you to notice my leggings.'


Last night I sat in a billiards room, I couldn't afford a drink
I thought somebody would think to ask but nobody seemed to think
I crossed my legs and I watched the game, one player was extra hot
But he fell over my leg, you see, and somebody said, 'Good shot.'

Chorus: Said he, 'That's funny? I don't think so
You're sprawling your legs all over the show
D'yer want to kill me?' I said, 'Oh, no,
I want you to notice my leggings.'
 
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Written and composed by F. Leo
Performed by Wilkie Bard (1874-1944)
 
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