I WON'T BELIEVE IT'S TRUE
 
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Oh! tell me not my love's untrue, break not my beating heart,
I felt worse than a dog without his tail, the day we had to part.
I squeezed her hand, she kissed my nose, the captain cried, 'Heave to!'
While I heaved three and a tear heaved four, when she sail'd for Timbuctoo.
While I heaved three and a tear heaved four, when she sail'd for Timbuctoo.

Spoken: They say when she arrives on another shore, she will deceive me. Ah! Ah!

Chorus: I won't believe it's true, 'til they can't tell me from you,
'Til donkeys neigh and pigs they bray, I can't believe it's true.
No! I won't believe it's true, 'til every one of you,
Have rings on your toes and a rose-blush nose, Then I'll believe it's true.

When in the ground you plant mutton chops, when out of them grow sheep,
When babies without feeding bottles at night won't go to sleep;
When cats won't play on the tiles at night, all concerts they eschew,
When Kenealy gets the prize for jaw, then I'll believe it's true.
When Kenealy gets the prize for jaw, then I'll believe it's true.

Chorus: No! I won't believe it's true, 'til the ladies we shall view,
In paper suits and Wellington boots and to the men are true;
'Til a good Irish stew, goes down my throat wrong,
And stops my song, I won't believe it's true.

To think that she'd deceive me, oh, that I never do,
When husbands and their wives agree, then I'll believe it's true.
When Odger takes the prize for wax for mending boot or shoe,
When Gladstone and D'Israeli fight then I'll believe it's true.
When Gladstone and D'Israeli fight then I'll believe it's true.

Chorus: No! I won't believe it's true, 'til carrots they turn blue,
'Til in the gutter you find fresh butter, I won't believe it's true;
No! I won't believe it's true, what people say of Sue,
'Til the fishes walk and the animals talk, I won't believe it's true.

 
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Written and composed by Fred Albert & George Leybourne
Performed by George Leybourne (1842-1884)
From monologues.co.uk Music Hall Lyrics Collection
 
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