I'D LIKE TO SHAKE, SHAKE, SHAKE SHAKESPEARE
 
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My wife's got a passion for Shakespeare,
And Shakespeare she quotes day and night
On Friday she'll say, when short of cash
'The burglar who stealeth my purse, steals the trash.'
'Shylock a pound of flesh, Shy-lock.'
She'll say to the butcher polite
She killed our buck-rabbit for dinner and said
'So much for Buckingham, off with his head.'
She's a lover of Shakespeare, so neighbours say
I have never met this Shakespeare
Though I seek him night and day.

Chorus: I'd like to shake shake shake shake Shakespeare
I'd like to shake him well and good
People say that my wife Mary
Peeps in Shakespeare's works each day
I've sought the gasworks and the ironworks
And as sure as my name's Perks
I'm going to shake shake shake shake Shakespeare
When I find where Shakespeare works.


There's Henry the Eighth, our bantam
Macduffs are our hens and she'll say
'Lay on, lay on, lay on Macduff
And be damned to the hen that cries eggs enough.'
She's christened the coalman Othello
And shouts as he passes our way
'Othello, I pray thee, thou dusky faced soul
Othello, Othello, half hundred of coal.'
But when I find this Shakespeare 'twill soon end her craze
I mean to spoil his bacon when I find where Shakespeare plays

Chorus:

On Sunday we'd sheep's head for dinner
When she'd nibbled the meat from the head
Addressing the skull she began to yell
'Alas poor Yorrick I knew him well.'
She Christened our cat Desdemona
Because it got smothered in bed
And when baby a rash on it's Mary had got
She rubbed it and shouted, 'Out, out, damned spot!'
Midsummer night she was dreaming, and said
'Wherefore art thou Rome O?'
That's nice when my name's Ted.

Chorus:
 
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Performed by Mark Sheridan (1867-1918)
 
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