I'LL BE OUT IN THE LIFEBOAT ALL NIGHT
 
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My ancestors were pirates on the bounding Spanish Main
Folks tell me that's the reason I've got water on the brain
In case you landsmen think I've never braved the angry deep
I'll let you see my tattoo marks, and when you're fast asleep,

Chorus: I'll be out in the lifeboat all night
For wrecks I'll be on the alert
I'll be out in the lifeboat all night
Dressed up in my waterproof shirt
I don't want to 'rort' about saving folks' lives
But tonight in the channel the Sultan arrives
And as I've heard he's bringing a cargo of wives
I'll be out in the lifeboat all night.


The ladies love us sailors, well, you know what sailors are
Last week I had the nerve to take one to a registrar
I hurried to our cottage with my sweet and blushing bride
And gazing at the eight day clock, in tender tones I sighed,

Chorus: 'I'll be out in the lifeboat all night
In my macintosh socks I'll away
I'll be out in the lifeboat all night
So fear not, my bride of today.'
She glanced at my profile and seemed quite amazed
Then she turned up the gas and once more at me gazed
Then she fell on her knees and said, 'Heaven be praised
You'll be out in the lifeboat all night.'


The cottage I had rented was the cheapest on the coast
I never knew till afterwards 'twas haunted by a ghost
The neighbours said a headless girl went stalking through each room
So I whispered to the missis as it changed from light to gloom,

Chorus: 'I'll be out in the lifeboat all night
If she can't be kept underground
I'll be out in the lifeboat all night
When the filleted lady walks round
She stalks with a dagger from midnight till three
And jabs it in every old thing she can see
But I'll lay six to four she won't jab it in me
I'll be out in the lifeboat all night.'


You sing about Tom Bowling, and your heroes on the sea
You sing about Grace Darling - she's no earthly chance with me
Last Friday night with cane in hand and tall hat on my head
I took the rent from 'neath the clock, then to the wife I said,

Chorus: 'I'll be out in the lifeboat all night.'
Said I, as I scented my hair
'I'll be out in the lifeboat all night.'
Then I wandered towards Leicester Square
I went in the 'Empire' the ballet to see
And a girl in pink tights smiled as sweet as could be
So I wired to the wife, 'Don't you wait up for me,
I'll be out in the lifeboat all night.'
 
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Written and composed by Dan Lipton
Performed by Harry Bluff
 
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