To tell you the truth, I have been from my youth
A bete noir to my mistresses haughty
Who with infinite zest on my mind have impressed
One fact, that I'm painfully naughty
But since I have been up to London, and seen
Just a few of society's glories
And heard some of the jokes of their fash'nable folks
And listened to some of their stories

Chorus: Well their stories have all got no meaning at all
Or else they have two - that is flat
Oh, I'll never, I guess be a social success
I'm not naughty enough for that.

The stage is the craze for our swells nowadays
(Instead of connubial quarrles)
And our ladies and lords are all going on the boards
Intent on theatrical laurels
It's all right I suppose - (Though they edge out the pros)
But although I am told by the gallants
That I'd soon be the rage if I went on the stage
And like to show off my ..er..talents

Chorus: When I look at the plays they produce nowadays
I think what can the censor be at
Though I'd like to take part in a comedy part
I'm not naughty enough for that.

Most important of all at a dinner or ball
Are the clothes a young lady is dressed in
So when I came to town, a smart evening gown
Was the firsdt thing I went to invest in
Many garments they showed very much a la mode
As affected by fashionable women
But I cried in distress, 'What I want is a dress
Not a thing to go out for a swim in.'

Chorus: Though I'm not very good I'm afraid that I should
As a leader of fashion fall flat
For I'm rather too prone to take cold, and I own
I'm not naughty enough for that.
Written and composed by C.H. Bovill & Cyril Burgess - 1906
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