I'M ON MY HONEYMOON
 
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Johnson newly married, Johnson newly wed,
Bustles to the station with his wife and says,
To the railway porter, 'Here's a shilling, so,
Tell the engine driver he's to go quite slow.

Chorus: 'Cos I'm on my honeymoon, I'm on my honeymoon,
And I'm a happy, contented chappie,
Don't grin like some buffoon, you bet we want to spoon,
How many tunnels are there, hey? Only eight, I hear you say,
Build ten more, for I can pay, I'm on my honeymoon.

Johnson and his missus, went to gay Paree,
The only phrase that Johnson knew was, 'Oui, oiu, oui'.
While his wife went searching for apartment cards,
Johnson sang and danced upon The Boulevarde.

Chorus: I'm on my honeymoon, I'm on my honeymoon.
And I'm a happy, contented chappie,
But near a gay saloon, a lady very soon,
Came to him and said, 'Monsieur, please do you parlez vous?'
He said, 'Yes, but not with you, I'm on my honeymoon.'

Johnson and his darling, reached their furnished flat,
But they couldn't sleep for an old tom-cat.
Sat upon a chimney yelling out, 'Meaow!'
Johnson from his window shouted, 'Stop that row!

Chorus: I'm on my honeymoon, I'm on my honeymoon.
And I'm a happy, contented chappie,
So stop that rotten tune, or I'll pulverise you soon,
But that old cat said with a yell, as a great big flowerpot on him fell,
'You can go to Camberwell, 'cos I'm on my honeymoon.'

Chorus: I'm on my honeymoon, I'm on my honeymoon.
And I'm a happy, contented chappie,
So stop that rotten tune, or I'll pulverise you soon,
But that old cat said with a yell, as a great big flowerpot on him fell,
'You can go to Camberwell, 'cos I'm on my honeymoon.'

 
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Written and composed by R.P. Weston - 1911
Performed by Whit Cunliffe (1876-1966)
From monologues.co.uk Music Hall Lyrics Collection
 
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