I'm a musical flaw that they seem to have missed…
Seem to have missed... seem to have missed.

I'm tone deaf; music means nothing to me,
It's only the way that my accompanist plays
That makes me appear I'm in key.

I'm tone deaf. Can't tell my B from my F
I stand by my pianist watching his face
For he tells me to start when he reaches the place
Then he gives me a whacking great biff in the base
‘Cos’ I'm tone deaf.

I'm tone deaf. Never knew much about pitch
Some people you know can sing Falalitwo
And claim they can tell which is which.

I'm tone deaf. Can't tell my B from my F
Stravinski once said, and I don't wish to carp
'If that is B natural played on that harp,
Then you're either B flat dear or bloody B sharp'
When I'm tone deaf.

I'm tone deaf, but it makes lots of work for the 'boys'
Is purely a matter of choice.

I'm tone deaf. Musically A C D F
Now perhaps Covent Garden can do without me
But whilst I'm denied an exorbitant fee
I can always get work with the dear BBC. DFC? NBG!
I'm tone deaf. I'm tone deaf.
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