IN THE GOOD OLD DAYS.
 
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In those good old days, in those costume plays,
When a song was called a lay, sir,
When they played high jinks, and they said methinks,
'Tis well, alack a day sir!
Out! varlet out! thou't a clumsy lout
Ha! sayest thou, thou wilt, sir?
Split me! Zoundsl Odd's blood! thou shalt chew the cud!
Have at thee in friendly tilt, sir!

Chorus: To say they never swore in the good old days of yore,
Would be highly incorrect, sir;
They heartily abused one another when they used
The words that I select, sir.

In those good old days, in those costume plays,
They'd carry on a dispute in,
Language most polite; though we moderns might
Consider it high falutin!
"Thou should'st feel the weight, on that ugly pate
Of my trusty Toledo blade, sir!
But I would not hurt such a malapert
Nay! Beshrew me! I'm not afraid, sir!"

Chorus:

In those good old days, in those dear old days,
When folks would say, "I ween," sir,
By my troth, gad zooks! but I like thy looks,
Thou hast a courtly mien, sir;
Pledge my true love's name by my knightly fame,
Her eyes like stars do shine, sir,
Stap my vitals, sir; thou'rt a mangy cur!
Go to! Thou'rt flushed with wine, sir!

Chorus:

 
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Written and composed by Albert Chevalier & Charles Ingle
Performed by Albert Chevalier (1861-1923)
From monologues.co.uk Music Hall Lyrics Collection
 
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