INTRODUCE ME TO THE LADY
 
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Young Brown, in town, a draper's clerk was he
A bachelor he'd been for thirty years
Cried he, 'I'll be a single man no more
A charming little wife is just the thing for me I'm sure
And from that day, when e'er a girl he'd spy
He'd turn around to his pals and loudly cry.

Chorus: 'Introduce me to the lady
Introduce me to the girl
I don't care what colour she may be
Dark or fair, she's just the same to me
Introduce me to the lady
Though her hair has got no curl
If she's forty thousand pounds that's looking for a home
Introduce me to the girl.'


One night, moonlight, old Simpson from the Club
Was walking home as straight as I am now
Front door, saw four, the wrong one got inside
And in the Hall a statue there of Venus he espied
There, to his friends who tumbled in behind
He turned and cried, 'Oh Percy, what a find!'

Chorus: 'Introduce me to the lady
Introduce me to the girl
I don't care what colour she may be
Dark or fair, she's just the same to me
Introduce me to the lady
Though her hair has got no curl
If she's feeling chilly when the Winter comes along
Introduce me to the girl.'


John Jones, all bones, went out to foreign parts
And with his wife was captured by the blacks
Next day, both were brought before the chief
Who looked at Jones's skinny form, and nearly died of grief
Then turning round to Jones's nice fat wife
He shouted as he sharpened up his knife.

Chorus: 'Introduce me to the lady
Introduce me to the girl
I don't care what colour she may be
Dark or fair, she's just the same to me
Introduce me to the lady
Though her hair has got no curl
If she's nice and tender and she's not a suffragette
Introduce me to the girl.'
 
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Performed by Vesta Tilley (1864-1952)
 
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