IS IT LIKELY?
 
James Fawn
 
I'm pleased to meet you once again,
Upon my word it's true,
And glad to find a friend at hand,
For I'm not worth a 'sou'.
I've borrowed once or twice before,
But still, I think I'm right,
For just a half a sovereign, say,
Until tomorrow night.

Chorus: Is it likely? Oh, dear no!
Is it likely? Oh, dear no!
Now if I've borrowed once before,
Do you feel inclined to lend me more?
Is it likely? Oh, dear no!
Not likely? Oh, dear no!
It isn't very likely,
Do you really think it is?

The married man is very 'fly',
As everybody knows,
He tells his wife some awful crams,
When on the spree he goes.
But when he comes home after twelve,
And smells quite strong of gin,
And tells his wife he's been at work,
D'ye think she's taken in?

Chorus: Is it likely? Oh, dear no!
Is it likely? Oh, dear no!
When a man comes home and he smells of gin,
D'ye think his wife is taken in?
Is it likely? Oh, dear no!
Not likely? Oh, dear no!
It isn't very likely,
Do you really think it is?

Young ladies, when at boarding schools,
For romance go in strong,
To wed for aught but love, they say,
Is very, very wrong.
A few years later when the worth,
Of gold they've got to know,
If a wealthy man proposes,
Do you think they'll answer, 'No!'

Chorus: Is it likely? Oh, dear no!
Is it likely? Oh, dear no!
Do you think a girl will shake her head,
If a wealthy man says, 'With me wed'.
Is it likely? Oh, dear no!
Not likely? Oh, dear no!
It isn't very likely,
Do you really think it is?

Now when a man gets married to,
A young and lovely wife,
Is it likely he will think that she,
Will plague him all his life?
And when his ma-in-law comes down,
To nurse the baby boy,
And says she'll never leave him,
Do you think he jumps for joy?

Chorus: Is it likely? Oh, dear no!
Is it likely? Oh, dear no!
Do you think a man will shout, 'Hooray'
When his ma-in-law comes down to stay?
Is it likely? Oh, dear no!
Not likely? Oh, dear no!
It isn't very likely,
Do you really think it is?

 
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Written and composed by John Cook Jnr. & W. G. Eaton
Performed by James Fawn (1850-1923)
From monologues.co.uk Music Hall Lyrics Collection
 
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