ISN'T IT A CRUEL WORLD?
 
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It seems to me that this is a world of seeming
Long have I felt that I was only dreaming
Only to wake to find that I was waking
'Twas no mistake - there could be no mistaking
In all mankind my faith is sadly shaken
I'm still a miss - would I were miss taken
Oh! man, thou art a silly stupid scoffer
To this fair maid you never made an offer.

Chorus: It's a cruel world! A wicked world
Oh, goodness gracious me
Oh, men why do you miss me?
Will no one come and kiss me?
Isn't it a cruel world?


Long have I sought, and even still I'm sorting
No man I've caught, alas, none came a-courting
I wonder why mankind so unwise is
Daily I sigh, and extra large the size is
One man I kissed, to find that I had missed him
He'd rushed away, and left me there a-wailing
I turned so pale and sat upon a paling.

Chorus: It's a cruel world! A wicked world
Oh, goodness gracious me
All through sitting on a splinter
I'd a poultice all the winter
Isn't it a cruel world?


Once, when in doubt, I found that I was doubting
So I went out, but only for an outing
I got a shock - the shock was really shocking
There on a rock - I saw a man was rocking
I thought to nab the nearest man worth nabbing
I made a grab, to find that I was grabbing
I seized his hair, just where he'd let his hair grow
Oh! girls, the scare -'twas nothing but a scare-crow.

Chorus: It's a cruel world! A wicked world
Oh, goodness gracious me
Those trousers I denied 'em
For there was no man inside 'em
Isn't it a cruel world?


I sing this ode - I know to you I owed it
Once, on a road, a bicycle I rode it
Only to ride - to find that I was riding
In skirts divide - just as they were dividing
Into a ditch I felt that I was pitching
'Twas such a pitch- that pitch into the ditch in
Less than a tick, I found that I was sticking
To pick me out, it took a lot of picking.

Chorus: It's a cruel world! A wicked world
Oh, goodness gracious me
Through into nettles landing
I'd to take my dinner standing
Isn't it a cruel world?
 
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Performed by Nellie Wallace (1870-1948)
 
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