IT AIN'T ALL HONEY AND IT AIN'T ALL JAM
 
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With my lovely husband today I landed here,
By a cheap excursion train because it wasn't dear,
Left me at the station, told me not to fret,
While he went to look for rooms, he's looking for 'em yet.
That's exactly twenty hours ago;
I thought somehow he wasn't coming back,
But when I do lay hold of him there's going to be some fun,
I only want to get upon his track.

Chorus: It ain't all honey and it ain't all jam,
Pushing round the houses, a three wheel 'pram',
All on my lonesome, not a bite to eat,
Walking about on my poor old feet.
My old man, If I could find him,
A lesson I would give,
Poor old me, I haven't got a key,
And I don't know where I live.

Fancy, twenty hours, and I haven't had a drink,
I feel inclined to push the perambulator down a sink,
But I think the best thing forbaby, pretty lamb,
Is shove it on the parish, then I think I'll pawn the 'pram'.
He's done this thing many, many times,
Run away and left me, what a life!
I'll bet while I'm a-wlking round a-looking after him,
He's looking after someone else's wife.

Chorus:

When I wed my husband, I thought it jolly fine,
Told me all my life that I should have the best of wine,
But on me, for champagne, he's never spent a quid,
The only wine that I get is the whining of the kid.
It ain't fair, no fare for the train have I,
I'll have to walk I haven't got a cent,
I'm fifty mile away from home but when I do get there,
I'll take a lodger in to pay the rent.

Chorus:

 
PDF Sheet Music
 
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Written and composed by Fred Murray & Geo. Everard - 1906
Performed by Vesta Victoria (1874-1951)
From monologues.co.uk Music Hall Lyrics Collection
 
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