IT DOESN'T BELONG TO ME
 
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There's been a fearful rumpus down our street, this afternoon,
The landlord had an unction I was going to shoot the moon.
Because I owe him six years rent, he sent the brokers in,
They're clearing out the furniture but I don't give a pin,

Chorus: It doesn't belong to me! It doesn't belong to me!
Won't the fat be in the fire when they find it's all on hire.
Oh, my word! what trouble there will be,
They'll have to bring it back again, 'cos it doesn't belong to me!

It's very seldom you should see me, clobbered up so gay,
Fancy coats and trousers never seem to come my way.
And as for wearing shirts, such luxuries I never knew,
Although I've got one on tonight, I don't mind telling you,

Chorus: It doesn't belong to me! It doesn't belong to me!
It belongs to a pal of mine, he can't wear it, he's doin' time.
When he comes out again, 'e'll want it back, yer see!
I'm simply takin' care of it, it doesn't belong to me!

I've heard so much about the woes of every married man,
And I resolved, I'd always try and live the single plan.
You often see me with a girl, you take to be my wife,
But there! you never made a bigger bloomer in your life!

Chorus: She doesn't belong to me! She doesn't belong to me!
She's not my wife you must know, she was married years ago.
Her old man's far across the briny sea,
I'm simply taking care of her, she doesn't belong to me!

 
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Written and composed by Frank Leo - 1898
Performed by Dan Crawley (1872-1912)
From monologues.co.uk Music Hall Lyrics Collection
 
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