IT MAKES ME SO AWFULLY WILD
 
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I can scarcely converse with you calm and cool, for I feel so awfully wild.
To think I have been such a beastly fool and so easily too, beguiled.
For the greatest affliction of all my life, was the loss of a girl who'd have been my wife;
Had it not been for one who has caused this strife, which has made me so awfully wild.

Chorus: I really felt dreadfully riled ye know,
For it made me so awfully wild ye know
To have loved and believed,
And then been deceived,
It's enough to make a cove wild, ye know.

Her name was Selina Belinda Crow and I thought her so tender and mild,
I called on her every day, ye know, and followed her just like a child;
I poured out my heart to Belinda Crow, said for her, to the ends of the world, I'd go,
But she giggled at me and my love, ye know and it made me so awfully wild.

Chorus:

I bought her a beautiful duck, one day and a basket with eatables piled,
She said, Tommy, come in the evening, pray and potatoes we'll have with it biled.
I'll be out all the day, said Belinda Crow, come at ten o'clock then I'll be in, ye know;
That's the night I received such a terrible blow and it made me so awfully wild.

Chorus:

New trousers I wore that cost fouteen and six, had my haircut and beautifully iled,
In the evening I called at her house about six, as the time I thought might be beguiled;
I looked in at the winder and didn't I stare, Miss Crow and a dapper young man were there;
They were eating away at my duck I declare. Oh! it made me so awfully wild.

Chorus:

I rushed on the pair like a lion, ye know and I'm sure I looked awfully wild;
Crying, Oh! you deceitful, you false young Crow but she turned up her nose and she smiled.
Then the young man arose and to me did say, with his mouth full of duck for which I did pay;
'That young lady's my wife, we were married today. Oh! it made me so awfully wild.

Chorus:

Said I, 'You're a swindler and cheat, Miss Crow.' said her husband, 'I say, draw it mild.'
Then he kicked me right into the street, ye know and it made me so awfully wild;
I certainly thought they were very unkind and I think they might have enquired if I'd dined;
I get mad, even now, when it crosses my mind and it makes me so awfully wild.

Chorus:
 
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Written, composed and performed by Arthur Lloyd (1840-1904)
From monologues.co.uk Music Hall Lyrics Collection
 
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