IT MUST HAVE BEEN YE-E-EARS AGO
 
div
 

Every poor man has his weakness,
Just like a dog has for a bone;
Mine is a terrible memory
Sometimes it's useful, I'll own.
Today a strange female came to me,
Don't know you, said I, 'pon my life
Said she, 'Oh, you wish to disown me,
Disown me, your own lawful wife.'
Disown her, my own lawful wife?

Chorus: I'd forgotten that I'd ever had one,
Until she told me so;
Between you and I,
She told me a lie,
Or it must have been years ago.

A fellow I met but this morning,
Said he, 'Well, old pal, how d'ye do?'
Said I, 'You seem to know me, friend,
'Pon my sivey I don't know you.'
Said he, 'Your old pal not remember,
Get out with you that's all bosh,
For sometime ago in the workhouse
We, together indulged in a wash.'
Together indulged in a wash?

Chorus: I'd forgotten that I'd ever had one,
Until he told me so;
I plainly repeat,
If I paddled my feet,
It must have been years ago.

For years I've been pushing on, somehow
To make two ends meet it's been hard;
Once I tried to enlist but they told me,
I wasn't cut out for a guard;
The sergeant, he gave me a tanner,
And said he, 'I'll make it a bob,
If you will no longer be idle
And return to your regular job.'
Return to my regular job?

Chorus: I'd forgotten that I'd ever had one,
Until she told me so;
He knew me, he said,
When I worked for my bread,
It must have been years ago.

What's this in my pocket, a ticket
Dear me! for a watch I declare;
Five bob, the name Timothy Seerly,
That I'd got it I wasn't aware.
And 'pon my word here's another,
All covered with old bacca dirt;
What's on it I scarce can decipher,
Oh, yes! two and six on a shirt.
Oh, yes! two and six on a shirt?

Chorus: I'd forgotten that I'd ever had one,
Until it told me so;
It's in white and black,
I'd a shirt to my back,
It must have been years ago.

 
div
 
Written, composed and performed by Tom Woottwell (1865-1941)
From monologues.co.uk Music Hall Lyrics Collection
 
div
 
 
home spaceA spaceB spaceC spaceD spaceE spaceF spaceG spaceH spaceI spaceJ spaceK spaceL spaceM spaceN spaceO spaceP spaceQ spaceR spaceS spaceT spaceU spaceV spaceW spaceX spaceY spaceZ