IT PLEASED THE CHILDREN SO
 
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Now people do such foolish things,
And when you ask them why,
They play the fool with such a zest,
They give a fool's reply.
For instance, say it's winter-time,
The children skate with glee,
Pa tries it too, a crack goes thro'!
On purpose, don't you see?

Chorus: For it pleased the children so,
Yes, it pleased the children so.
When dear old dad went thro' the ice,
He cried, "Oh this is awf'lly nice."
Which pleased the children so,
For he told me so, you know;
Oh! Bless their darling little hearts,
It pleased them so.

When mother once was out of town,
She got the news by wire,
"The children have kept up Guy Fawkes,
And set the house on fire!"
When rescued from the flames and brought
To her, quite safe and sound,
With frantic joy she kissed each boy,
Then smacked them all around.

Chorus: And it pleased the children so,
Yes, it pleased the children so,
And mother smacked as mothers can,
Then pa came home, and he began,
Which pleased the children so.
For they liked it, don't you know;
Oh, bless their darling little hearts,
They loved it so.

A woman's very saving, this
Is known to most of us;
She'll walk, I'm sure, well, quite ten yards
To save a penny bus!
And in those ten yards there's a shop
At which she makes a pause;
"Three pounds for that sweet, charming hat;
She buys it then, because,

Chorus: It would please her husband so,
It would please her husband so,
She was his darling little wife,
And said she'd help him on in life
Which pleased her husband so.
(It is done that way, you know)
For when the bill came home,
He said It pleased him so.

And when the midnight hour is chimed,
And all is hushed in sleep,
The twins are in their little cot
The scene near makes one weep.
Then suddenly they start to cry,
And pa's so nice and kind,
He nurses them, and kisses them,
And says he doesn't mind.

Chorus: For it pleased the children so,
When he walked them to and fro;
More sleep for him there is no hope,
For they've been eating scented soap,
And oh, they're howling so;
And some twins can howl, you know
Yet dear mamma slept through it all
She loved them so.

The youngsters play their pranks upon
Their elder sister's bean,
And if he does not buy them sweets
Some mischief brews, you know.
He comes one night to see his love,
And spooning they begin;
The boys prepare his favourite chair—
He flops down on a pin.

Chorus: And it pleased the children so,
Yes, it pleased the children so;
When he sat down he gave a yell,
And said some things I must not tell,
And it pleased the kids, you know,
For he looked so full of woe;
Next time he brought them heaps of sweets
He loved them so.

While strolling down Whitehall to-day
I saw a moving sight,
That is to say, it would have moved
If things had all been right.
It was an auto-motor car
Which stood stock still and blushed;
And those inside, they had no ride,
But all got out and pushed.

Chorus: And it pleased the cabbies so
When the motor wouldn't go;
They hung a nose bag on the front,
And then that motor would not shunt!
So the cabs formed in a row,
And they took the thing in tow,
The horses madly pranced along
It pleased them so.

 
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Written, composed and performed by R.A. Roberts (1866-1932)
From monologues.co.uk Music Hall Lyrics Collection
 
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