IT SUDDENLY DAWNED UPON ME
 
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There are things in this life of ours,
Which break in on us with surprise;
I had an instance, when last week
I told a man that he told lies:
Said he, "Wil't' fight?" I answered, "Yea!"
Knew not he was a pug... Oh Lor!
He gave me one between the eyes,
And for a week I knew no more.

Chorus: Then it suddenly dawned upon me, as it were!
That to challenge him I must have had some cheek.
When he punched me in the sight,
For a week I saw no light,
Then it suddenly dawned upon me... so to speak.

Once at the seaside, in a cove,
I took my clothes off for a dip,
When I came back, ere I could dress,
I heard a dainty footstep trip;
I searched the cove and found a hole,
Heard female voices soft and sweet,
Looked through the hole, a vision saw
Of skirts, and fal-the-dals and feet.

Chorus: Then it suddenly dawned upon me, as it were!
I’d unwittingly been guilty of much cheek;
I knew not that I’d arrove
At the ladies’ bathing cove,
But it suddenly dawned upon me, so to speak!

I used to sleep with Billy Scrubbs,
We shared a bed to save the cash,
Till last year I got married, and
We had champagne, and cut a dash.
Next morn I woke—reached out my arm
Touched ringlets long, and smoothened face,
A hair-pin found, a garment touched,
Said, “Bill... how long have you worn lace?

Chorus: Then it suddenly dawned upon me, as it were!
That my memory was really getting weak
I forgot that I was wed
Till that morn I woke in bed,
Then it suddenly dawned upon me--so to speak!


I’d married been, about a. year,
When my wife roused me up one night,
And whispered something in my ear
Which quickly made me take to flight.
As to the doctor’s off I went,
Folks said, ‘All Scotch costume? What ho"
Keep yourself cool? ”—I heard, amused,
Until the wind began to blow...

Chorus: Then it suddenly dawned upon me—as it were!
For I thought the folks’ remarks uncommon cheek;
I knew not till I did glance
I’d come out without my pants,
Then it suddenly dawned upon me—so to speak!

Though married, yet a girl I met,
Told her I was a single man;
She said, next Sabbath at the church,
She’d meet me, ’twas a splendid plan.
I rose up late, in haste I dressed
Met her in church, my nose I blew;
She looked and cried, "You're married, wretch!"
At first I said it was not true...

Chorus: Then it suddenly dawned upon me, as it were!
In my haste, by some misfortune most unique,
Instead of 'kerchief, as I thought,
I, my baby's shirt had brought,
And it suddenly dawned upon me, so to speak!

 
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Written and composed by E.W. Rogers - 1898
Performed by George Robey (1869 - 1954)
From monologues.co.uk Music Hall Lyrics Collection
 
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