IT'S A DIFFERENT GIRL AGAIN
 
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I have the reputation of a bold and bounding flirt
Every one stares when I go walking with a dainty skirt
Once upon a mountain top, a mile or two from earth
I with a girl was pressing my suit for all that I was worth
Just then a balloon flew by - and I heard somebody cry,

Chorus: 'Hello, hello, hello, - it's a different girl again
Different eyes, different nose - different hair - different clothes
Hello, hello, hello, to me it's very plain
You tickle the lady's fancy, it's a different girl again.'

One day my aged grand-mamma, who's eighty five and grey
I was escorting round the town, and showing her the way
Granny's very rich, and as I'm mentioned in her will
I was attentive all the time in case she caught a chill
We got in a motor-bus, when a voice said, 'Why, there's Guss.'

Chorus:

Once in a bar I lost my temper with a drunken lout
He was so rude to me, the landlord had the man thrown out
When I left, the loafer's wife waiting full of fun
Going for me, she tore my coat, and smashed my brand new 'Dunn'
She threw a jug at my head, when a friend came up and said,

Chorus:

No one believes that I'm sincere, but p'raps I'll wed some day
And in the church the same old words some one is sure to say
When I'm spliced a year or two, I think it's safe to bet
I shall be strolling round to a shop to buy a bassinette
When wheeling the youngster out I shall hear the neighbours shout,

Chorus:

Though you may think I'm faithless, still, I'm not the only one
Several friends in front I see enjoying all the fun
You look very innocent, your sweetheart thinks you're true
Still if I liked I know I could the tables turn on you
Of flirting you do your share - look at that man over there.

Chorus:

Once in a big dramatic play I took the villain's part
Seizing the maiden by the hand I asked her for her heart
She refused and to escape from me she vainly tried
'Marry me, or become my wife,' in tragic tones I cried
She struggled and screamed a bit - when a voice came from the pit,

Chorus:

Once on a small excursion boat I journeyed for a trip
Just as we got beyond the pier a girl fell off the ship
I took off my hat and coat, the crew began to roar
Quickly I dived and grabbing the girl I swam towards the shore
My arm was around her neck - so they shouted from the deck,

Chorus:

 
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Written and composed by George Arthurs & Bennett Scott - 1906
Performed by Whit Cunliffe (1876-1966)
From monologues.co.uk Music Hall Lyrics Collection
 
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