IT'S ALL VERY EASY TO TALK ABOUT
 
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It's all very well for people to tell
The course that they mean to pursue
There are many things easy to talk about,
But they're not so easy to do
We've heard many a speech that a mile would reach
From folks about the way they would walk
But strange to relate up to this very date,
Such people do nothing but talk
Words are but wind, very often we find
And I think you'll agree it is true
There are many things easy to talk about
But they're not so easy to do.

The Tee-Totallers they have been trying, they say
To rob us of hearty good cheer
And because they, you see, prefer water and tea
They would stop us from drinking our beer
Despite their abuse, they will find it's no use
If they try to close up our pubs
We've as much right, I think, to a smoke and a drink
As those that can stand the big clubs
They may chatter for hours, with speechmaking powers
And hold Exeter Hall Meetings too
But they'll find it is easy to talk about
But it's not so easy to do.

I went courting a dove, a charming young love
A beautiful creature divine
But a rival I found was fast gaining ground
So I pressed this fair girl to be mine
Being first in the field I had no wish to yield
But she with my rival took flight
And I called him a scamp, with my girl to decamp
So he sent me a challenge to fight
My friends said, 'Go in, you're certain to win.'
But he was about six feet two
And fighting's so easy to talk about
But it's not so easy to do.

I've now got a wife and we never have strife
For we've tempers uncommonly mild
The one point on which we at all disagree
Is because we are not blessed with a child
I should really like one, say a nice little son
But my wife says a girl is the best
And when I walk out and my friends are about
They make this a subject for jest
While some, I have read, have too many instead
For they're blessed with a dozen or two
Well keeping them's easy to talk about
But it's not so easy to do.

And so from my strain, there's something to gain,
For these verses were written to teach
When there's aught to be done, why idleness shun
And don't waste your moments in speech
Silence is golden, the poet has said
And the chatterbox only a fool
A very still tongue will make a very wise head
You will find it is always the rule
Now to please everyone is hard to be done
Yet I hope I have pleased all of you
Though to please all is easy to talk about

But it's not so easy to do. Encore verse:

There are Nations so proud, who talk very loud
As they to great power advance
They bluster and say, we are going to decay
And at our possessions they glance
When foes they combine, 'tis time, I opine
That we should look after ourselves
And ready will be our sons of the sea
To receive any covetous elves
For ages, 'tis known, we have here held our own
Although we've been threatened a few
But they know it's so easy to talk about
But it's not so easy to do.
 
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Written, composed and performed by Fred Albert (1844-1886)
From monologues.co.uk Music Hall Lyrics Collection
 
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