IT'S COLD WITHOUT YOUR TROUSERS
 
div
 

My old girl she's hard to please.
All through her I'm wearing these.
She took away my trousers, and kids me that I'm Scotch.
Ev'ry time as I walk out, it fair gives me the spur,
And when the wind begins to blow, I always say to her:

Chorus: 'It's cold without your trousers.
I feel cold without my trousers.
I'm so flushed I'm like the Scotch
They sell in public houses.
I never wore a kilt before.
Up above it's warm, I'm sure.
Down in the bottom, oh dear, oh lor!
It's cold without your trousers.


One night I got fairly tight,
Sat out on the kerb all night.
A p'liceman quickly run me in to some fishmonger's shop.
Said he, 'Your penny ??? will bring you round, I think.
He set me on a block of ice, I shouted quite distinct...

Chorus:

Last Christmas time a pal of mine
Said, 'I've been t' Switzerland, many times
Come with me, old fellow, and let us climb the Alps.'
I said, 'Once to the mountain top you want to make me climb.
It might be nice in summer, oh, but in the wintertime...

Chorus:

Last night I had such a fright,
Found the house was all alight,
Heard the engines pumping as I stood on the roof.
With all the girls down below fairly made me blush.
I shouted when the firemen squirted on my whitewash brush...

Chorus:

 
div
 
Performed by Harry Champion (1865-1942)
From monologues.co.uk Music Hall Lyrics Collection
 
div
 
home spaceA spaceB spaceC spaceD spaceE spaceF spaceG spaceH spaceI spaceJ spaceK spaceL spaceM spaceN spaceO spaceP spaceQ spaceR spaceS spaceT spaceU spaceV spaceW spaceX spaceY spaceZ