I'm very fond of peace and quiet wherever I may be
And tidiness at home it does my eyesight good to see
And when I've done a hard day's work I want my rest, you're sure
And it's grand, it's great to spot this when I'm entering the door.

Refrain: There's the missis making dumplings,
And the kids all singing hymns
And last week's washing all hanging about
When I think, to marry Hannah cost me seven and a tanner
Then I say - it's money well laid out.

I went to church on Sunday, and I thought the change was great
But what give me the knock was when Bill Scaggs brought round the plate
He's never liked me, since I callled him a mangy pup
So when I gives my bit - you should have seen his nose go up.

Refrain: And he had the blooming impudence to try it with his teeth
Looked hard at me, and bended the tanner about
Well, he pinched it that Sunday, and he got a month on Monday
Then I sez it's money well laid out!

I've treated our landlord to drinks a thousand times, I'll bet
He's made attempts to treat me but 'e ain't been guilty yet
The last time that I lushed him up, says 'e, 'You're werry kind'
But never got his hand down once, though e' got nearly blind.

Refrain: 'E says, 'Well. I've got a quid wot I don't want to change'
And round the bar kept chucking his carcass about
Well, I spent three bob on liquor, but I done him for his ticker
So I sez it's money well laid out!

I thought I'd buy a pair o' boots as these was wuss for wear
But had to wait becos' our eldest boy required a pair
To get 'em with hobnails and tips made holes in half a quid
I told the wife it's money frowed away upon the kid.

Refrain: Well, he done the double shuffles on our tea-tray for a start
And kicked holes in the furniture laying about
When I saw him and his brother, both a-kicking my wife's mother
Then I sez it's money well laid out!
Written and composed by Harry Castling & George Le Brunn - 1898
Performed by Alec Hurley (1871-1913)
From Music Hall Lyrics Collection
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