IT'S MONEY WELL LAID OUT
 
div
 
I'm very fond of peace and quiet wherever I may be
And tidiness at home it does my eyesight good to see
And when I've done a hard day's work I want my rest, you're sure
And it's grand, it's great to spot this when I'm entering the door.

Refrain: There's the missis making dumplings,
And the kids all singing hymns
And last week's washing all hanging about
When I think, to marry Hannah cost me seven and a tanner
Then I say - it's money well laid out.


I went to church on Sunday, and I thought the change was great
But what give me the knock was when Bill Scaggs brought round the plate
He's never liked me, since I callled him a mangy pup
So when I gives my bit - you should have seen his nose go up.

Refrain: And he had the blooming impudence to try it with his teeth
Looked hard at me, and bended the tanner about
Well, he pinched it that Sunday, and he got a month on Monday
Then I sez it's money well laid out!


I've treated our landlord to drinks a thousand times, I'll bet
He's made attempts to treat me but 'e ain't been guilty yet
The last time that I lushed him up, says 'e, 'You're werry kind'
But never got his hand down once, though e' got nearly blind.

Refrain: 'E says, 'Well. I've got a quid wot I don't want to change'
And round the bar kept chucking his carcass about
Well, I spent three bob on liquor, but I done him for his ticker
So I sez it's money well laid out!


I thought I'd buy a pair o' boots as these was wuss for wear
But had to wait becos' our eldest boy required a pair
To get 'em with hobnails and tips made holes in half a quid
I told the wife it's money frowed away upon the kid.

Refrain: Well, he done the double shuffles on our tea-tray for a start
And kicked holes in the furniture laying about
When I saw him and his brother, both a-kicking my wife's mother
Then I sez it's money well laid out!
 
div
 
Written and composed by Harry Castling & George Le Brunn - 1898
Performed by Alec Hurley (1871-1913)
From monologues.co.uk Music Hall Lyrics Collection
 
div
 
 
home spaceA spaceB spaceC spaceD spaceE spaceF spaceG spaceH spaceI spaceJ spaceK spaceL spaceM spaceN spaceO spaceP spaceQ spaceR spaceS spaceT spaceU spaceV spaceW spaceX spaceY spaceZ