IT'S PART OF A POLICEMAN'S DUTY
 
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There are lots of things a policeman does
For which he gets no credit
And his path is hard, although his feet
Are big enough to tread it.
Take one beat, there are thirty cooks
The Policeman has to sup with
Fancy thirty solid meals a night
That man has to put up with.

Chorus: It's part of a policeman's duty
Part of a policeman's work
I think I'm right in telling you
It's a job never shirked by the man in blue.
He'll do his best for England, Beer and Beauty
To be a sort of walking restaurant
Is part of a policeman's duty.


Should he see his sergeant after hours
Inside a pub indulging
He must pop inside and warn him that
He's spotted him a-gulging
And should a drink be offered
To our wiley crime detecter
He must bolt it quick and hop outside
And watch for the inspector.

Chorus: It's part of a policeman's duty
Part of a policeman's work
He must not be a selfish elf
For he may be a sergeant one day himself
He'll do his best for England, Beer and Beauty
To kiss the dear little barmaid and then slope
Is part of a policeman's duty.


If a motor car you chance to own
And drive it down through Surrey
Don't attempt more miles then four per hour
Or else your name spells 'worry'
If their fifty bob stop-watches say
Two hundred miles you've moted
In one hour, pray don't contradict
For telling truth they're noted.

Chorus: It's part of a policeman's duty
Part of a policeman's work
To tell the truth not hesitate
And they've always a pal to corroborate
He'll do his best for England, Beer and Beauty
To be the terror of every motorist
Is part of a policeman's duty.


If he's in the road on a rainy day
Directing busy traffic
And he spies upon the neighbouring kerb
A female form seraphic
Afraid to cross, to traffic he
Says, 'Stop! each man and horse, sir'
Then he gathers her up in his arms
And carries her across, sir.

Chorus: It's part of a policeman's duty
Part of a policeman's work
'I want no thanks, sweet maid,' he'll say
'I should like to be carrying you all day'
He'll do his best for England, Beer and Beauty
To take her name and address before she goes
Is part of a policeman's duty.


But should any little kid get lost
He's on his track - well rather
And the dirty brat of him is not
Afraid, but calls him 'father'
He stands the hungry kid a bun
A tear on his eye-lid is
When the mother thanks, and he says
'Well Yes, I'm fond of kiddies.'

Chorus: It's part of a policeman's duty
Part of a policeman's work
When e'er a policeman's married he
Is sure to be blessed with a familee
He'll do his best for England, Beer and Beauty
To be father of at least eight or nine
Is part of a policeman's duty.
 
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Performed by Vesta Tilley (1864-1952)
 
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