IT'S SILLY TO WAIT
 
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To have plenty of patience no-one can deny,
Is a virtue we all should admire,
And if we don't happen to have a good stock,
To obtain it then we should aspire;
But there are occasions I think when it's best,
By impatience to settle our fate,
And I'll mention a few little instances when,
It's certainly silly to wait.

If you're roaming about in the meadows so green,
And admiring the cows and the sheep,
And the dear little lambs that go skipping around,
And at you so timidly peep;
If you suddenly see a big bellowing bull,
Coming on at a deuce of a rate,
To give you a rise on his two pretty horns,
It's certainly silly to wait.

If you're courting a girl on the strictest Q.T.
And have called quite unknown to her pa,
And with your fair charmer have had a snug hour,
And are just about saying 'Ta-ta!'
If you hear the old gentleman coming down stairs,
In a terribly, passionate state,
With a very thick stick and a surly old dog,
It's certainly silly to wait.

If you only have got, say a bob in your purse,
And go in just to have a quiet wet,
Of course you are careful and see the right change,
For your poor little shilling you get.
If you suddenly find the amount of your wealth,
Has increased at a wonderful rate,
And instead of a bob, you've change of a 'sov.'
It's certainly silly to wait.

If your wife's made a noise 'cause you've been a bit free,
With a pretty young widow, Kate Blink,
And the widow you happen to meet near a pub,
Of course, you invite her to drink;
If while you are taking a kiss in the snug,
And calling her sweet, pretty Kate,
Then above the partition you see your wife's face,
It's certainly silly to wait.

If a fellow rolls home just as tight as can be,
But can manage to open the door,
And on reaching the bedroom is startled to hear,
Lovely woman's melodious snore.
Then looking round he sees snugly in bed,
An old girl in a slumbering state,
And suddenly finds that he's in the wrong room,
It's certainly silly to wait.

 
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Written and composed by G. Horncastle & Augustus E. Durandeau - 1887
Performed by James Fawn (1850-1923)
From monologues.co.uk Music Hall Lyrics Collection
 
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