IT'S THE FIRST TIME THAT I'VE BEEN IN LOVE
 
div
 

There's a throb in my bosom at last,
And the reason I'll try to explain
I was bringing chipped 'taters and plaice on a dish
When a strange lady made goo-goo eyes at my fish
My heart gave a leap of delight,
I could see she was gone on my shape
So I gave her a 'tater and coyly I said,
As I folded myself in her cape.

Chorus: 'It's the first time that I've been in love
So I think we'd best stroll through the park
It's the first time that I've been in love
And I won't feel so shy in the dark
I'm a novice at spooning it's true
For as true as the stars are above
Although seven times I've been had up for 'breach'
It's the first time that I've been in love.'

The moon shone her pale light around
As we both made short work of the fish
Said I, 'I can't woo in a lover-like way
For to tell you the truth, I'm an absolute jay
I'm sure to improve later on
Though my courting to you may seem queer
Remember you once were a novice yourself.
So don't be too hard on me dear.'

Chorus: 'It's the first time that I've been in love
And I seem as if I've got the shakes
It's the first time that I've been in love
And I'm frightened I might make mistakes
I know I should sigh and hold hands
And I know I should coo like a dove
But tonight you must do all the cooing yourself
It's the first time that I've been in love.'

The zephyrs were wafting on high
As she gazed with 'suspish' on the fish
As I crooned 'Google-oogle, Oh! bless ums sweet tuts.'
Then I sobbed, 'I'll give in, I can't google for nuts.'
But she murmured, 'Take courage, sweet youth
Faint heart never won maiden fair.'
So I spoke in a masculine voice and remarked
With a heart bowed with woe and despair.

Chorus: 'It's the first time that I've been in love
So I'll just wink my eye for a start
It's the first time that I've been in love
And I'll cuddle you close to my heart
I'm feeling so blithe and so gay
That a train off the rails I could shove
So excuse me for acting just like a mad horse
It's the first time that I've been in love.'

The bright stars were urging me on
And my heart seemed to whisper, 'Buck up.'
So I stroked her fair head and said, 'Please be my wife.'
Then she gasped and exclaimed, 'So you have come to life.'
She instantly fell on my breast
Which compelled me to fall on the dish
But I manfully tried to look human and said
As I sat on the last of the fish,

Chorus: 'It's the first time that I've been in love'
But said she, as I gave her a kiss
'It's the first time that you've been in love
You puss, you've won medals for this.'
Then a policeman climbed down from a tree
And said he, 'I've been listening above
And I wouldn't believe, if you went on your knees
It's the first time that you've been in love.'

 
div
 
Performed by Jack Pleasants (1874-1924)
From monologues.co.uk Music Hall Lyrics Collection
 
More Jack Pleasants
 
 
div
 
 
home spaceA spaceB spaceC spaceD spaceE spaceF spaceG spaceH spaceI spaceJ spaceK spaceL spaceM spaceN spaceO spaceP spaceQ spaceR spaceS spaceT spaceU spaceV spaceW spaceX spaceY spaceZ