JOHN, GO AND PUT YOUR TROUSERS ON
 
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John McNabb is so finely built,
Will ye stop your tickling Jock?
Lie die diddle um tum tum
A regular Scotsman to the hilt
Will ye stop your tickling Jock?
Lie die diddle um tum tum
I shall never forget our wedding day
He was going to church in his kilt so gay
His bride was forced to look away
Then she said to him:

Chorus: 'John, John, John,
Go and put your trousers on.
You'll only be a laughing stock
If you go to church in that little short frock.
In your kilt you think you look a don.
But it looks like bein' a very windy day
So go an' put your trousers on.'

They went on their honeymoon
Will ye stop your ticklin' Jock?
Lie die diddle um tum tum
The boarding-house they reached very soon
Lie die diddle um tum tum
It was somewhere out in Switzerland
And they happened to meet with a climbing band.
He somehow couldn't understand
Why they said to him:

Chorus: 'John, John, John,
Go and put your trousers on.
You'll only be a laughing stock
If you climb the Alps in that little short frock.
In your kilt you think you are a don,
And the single ladies in the crowd might faint,
So go an' put your trousers on.'

 
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Written, composed and performed by Billy Williams (1877-1915)- 1907
From monologues.co.uk Music Hall Lyrics Collection
 
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