JUST TO SHOW THERE IS NO ILL FEELING
 
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A friend of mine said, 'Let's go and have a drink!'
Just to show there is no ill feeling!
And to closer bind our friendship's link,
Just to show there is no ill feeling!
We had it but with looks dismayed,
He found out he'd his purse mislaid,
I sympathised and of course I paid,
Just to show there is no ill feeling!

Chorus: Dear old pals, jolly old pals,
Clinging together, through all sorts of weather,
Dear old pals, jolly old pals,
Who show there is no ill feeling!

We strolled about 'til twelve o'clock at night,
Just to show there is no ill feeling!
We had a few more drinks and then a fight,
Just to show there is no ill feeling!
We got outside of too much beer,
Then he talked to me in a style severe,
So I raised a lump outside his ear,
Just to show there was no ill feeling!

Chorus:

First I swept the floor with him,
Rolled him up and down the stairs,
Then we had another go,
Under tables over chairs,
Such a sight you never saw,
He began to say his prayers,
Rags and bones were all I left,
Just to show there was no ill feeling!

Chorus:

I left my friend and walked away,
Just to show there was no ill feeling!
I met a pretty girl who at once did say,
Just to show there is no ill feeling!
'I trust you'll not think I'm too free,
For I've fallen in love with you, you see,
So walk a little way home with me,
Just to show there is no ill feeling!

Chorus:

I took it on though just a trifle funkey,
I said I can't for I'm living with Ma,
She said, 'Come on, it's not very far.'
So I took it on but I will bet a 'monkey'
You won't get me in a hundred years,
To show there is no ill feeling!

We strolled home 'neath the silvery moon,
Just to show there was no ill feeling!
She said, 'Sit down and we'll have a spoon.'
Just to show there was no ill feeling!
When my senses returned again,
I was on my back in the pouring rain,
And the girl had sneaked my watch and chain,
Just to show there was no ill feeling!

But I was in it, fairly init,
The rain came down upon me as I in the gutter stuck,
But I was in it, fairly in it,
I was in it just to show there was no ill feeling!

A policeman came and he looked quite black,
Just to show there was no ill feeling!
He gave me a kick on the end of my back,
Just to show there was no ill feeling!
Said he, 'You seem to be quite content,
To live in the street and pay no rent.
Come on with me!' So of course, I went,
Just to show there was no ill feeling!

Chorus:

To be there, to be there,
I know what it is to be there,
Of the law he was a limb,
So I had to go with him,
And I know what it is to be there.
 
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Written, composed and performed by G.W. Hunter (1851-1936)
From monologues.co.uk Music Hall Lyrics Collection
 
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