THE KEELEY CURE
 
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Behold in me a mortal who was very fond of drink
And more than once I must admit was at destructions brink
My friends advised me for to go and try the Keeley cure
But sad to say I couldn't just because I was too poor
But soon I realised enough to take me there I thought
And after having a farewell drink my railroad ticket bought
I went there like a broken swell that is so I've been told
But in the morning I was full of Bichloride of gold.

They filled me full of old gold rings, gold watches and gold chains
The whiskey that they fed me on was made from golden grains
For breakfast I had gold-fish I was eighteen karat pure
Ah those were golden moments when I took the Keeley cure
I soon had lost all thirst for drink I tell you I felt fine
When I left there I was full of gold as a Californian mine
My mind was full of golden thoughts there was gold dust on my shoes
My hirsute growth had golden fringe I was full of golden booze.

Pawnbrokers they would watch for me whenever I'd pass by
Thinking I would pawn myself but I winked the other eye
Every Hebrew in the city became drunkards so I'm told
Not because they wanted it but just to get the gold
There was lots of gold inside of me but it I couldn't spend
So I went to Uncle Isaac and asked how much on me he'd lend
He loaned me fifty dollars then put me up the spout
But no one would redeem me so in three months I ran out

My life became a burden soon no matter where I ran
Dime music managers chased me saying there's money in that man
And a hundred undertakers followed closely so 'tis said
Saying they'd bury me for nothing if I only would drop dead
The gang then stood me on my head to see the gold run out
And twenty dollar pieces kept flowing from my mouth
They shook out every dollar until I became as poor
As the day before I went to take the famous Keeley Cure.
 
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Written and composed by James W. Thornton -1892
Performed by Sam Bell (USA)
 
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