THE LATEST CHAP ON EARTH
 
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The very latest chappie on this earth I'll introduce you to
His very trousers seem to give him pain, they're so intensely new
He only wears his clothes just half a day, then says they've grown antique
So fond of newness is he that he shifts his diggings once a week
He shoots the Moon? tut tut not true, 'tis merely love of things quite new.

Chorus: He has the latest thing in collars, the latest thing in ties
The very latest specimen of girly girls with the latest blue, blue eyes
He knows the latest bit of scandal, in fact he gave it birth
But when it comes to getting up at mornings he's the latest chap on earth.


He has the latest girl in all the town (She sits up half the night)
He drinks the newest champgne ever known to get an appetite
His new-laid-eggs each morn by special fowls are laid right on his plate
He gets the latest tips, but never wins, (His horses are too late)
His clothes would make you ope your eye and oh, his greeny yellow tie

Chorus: He has the latest thing in collars, the latest thing in ties
The very latest specimen of girly girls with the latest blue, blue eyes
He knows the latest bit of scandal, in fact he gave it birth
But when it comes to squaring with his tailor he's the latest chap on earth.


He went to Timbuctoo for fashions new but no change there could find
He said they wore a string of beads in front, and less than that behind
He bought an ostrich-feather overcoat, but all the ladies fair
Said, 'Oh, bai jove, here come the 'oof bird' and they plucked his feathers bare
In art his taste is somewhat crude, he much prefers the new-new-nude

Chorus: He has the latest thing in collars, the latest thing in ties
The very latest specimen of girly girls with the latest blue, blue eyes
He knows the latest bit of scandal, in fact he gave it birth
But when it comes to paying what he owes you he's the latest chap on earth.


In all his newness in New Bond Street you can daily see him stand
His diamond-hilted teeth flash brightly when he ogles ladies grand
He reads the pink 'un for the latest news with the latest cynics quiz
And will tell you that the latest gag's not half as good as his
He scarce can tell his latest joke, it makes him laugh enough to choke.

Chorus: He has the latest thing in collars, the latest thing in ties
The very latest specimen of girly girls with the latest blue, blue eyes
He knows the latest bit of scandal, in fact he gave it birth
But when it comes to finishing his story he's the latest chap on earth.
 
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Written and composed by E.W. Rogers - 1899
Performed by Vesta Tilley (1864-1952)
 
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