When I wake with painful brow
Ere the cock begins to crow
Tossing, tumbling in my bed
Aching heart and aching head
Pondering over human ills
Cruel bailiffs, tailor's bills
Flush and Pam thrown up at Loo
When these sorrows strike my view
I cry....

And to stop the gushing tear
Wipe it with the pillow
But when the sporting evening comes
Routs, ridottos, balls and drums
Casinos here, sestinas there
Mirth and pastime everywhere
Seated by a sprightly lass
Smiling with a smiling glass
Where these pleasures are my lot
Tailors, bailiffs are forgot
I laugh....

Careless what may then befall
Thus I shake my sides at all
Then again when I peruse
O'er my tea the morning news
Dismal tales of plundered houses
Wanton wives and cuckold spouses
When I read of money lent
At sixteen and a half percent
I cry....

But if ere the muffin's gone
Simpering enters honest John
Sir, Miss Lucy's at the door
Waiting in a chaise and four
Instant vanish all my cares
Swift I scamper down the stairs
And laugh....
So may this indulgent throng
Who now smiling grace my song
Never more cry Oh! Oh! La!
But join with me in Ha! Ha! Ha!
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