LET'S GO ROUND AND HAVE A TASTER
 
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I'm a commercial traveller and about a week ago
When my train got to town, I met old Tony Brown.
Tony said 'e'd take me round to see the new revue;
'E'd got a little bit o' fluff to introduce me to.
'A tasty bit o' fluff!' So I said: 'That's enough!'

Chorus: Let's go round and have a taster.
Let's go round and have a lighter
The girl was very nice, and I said when she kissed me twice:
'Oh I'll never kiss the missus any more!'

When I came 'ome from Newcastle and got let off the train,
I met old Doctor Jones, who said in friendly tones:
'I've got some news for you, me lad. It's good, don't turn away.
A tiny little stranger has come to your house today.'
I said: 'Where's the thirty bob?' Then I cried with a sob:

Chorus: Let's go round and have a taster.
Let's go round and have a lighter.
The baby 'ad black hair, and my wife and I are fair,
So I rushed out of the house and slammed the door.

When I got back from Inverness I fell out of the train,
Called for a glass of ale, then I went very pale.
The barmaid said: 'It's ninepence.' I fainted on the floor.
But when I came to a coster lad I'd never seen before
Said: 'It's thrupence down below.' I said: 'You are a pal to know.'

Chorus: Let's go round and have a taster.
Let's go round and have a lighter.
We'd one or two or three. I know I counted thirty-three.
And the barman wouldn't serve us any more.

Chorus: Oh! Let's go round and have a taster.
Let's go round and have a lighter.
We'd one or two or three. I know I counted thirty-three.
Then the barman wouldn't serve us any more
Tiddley-pom!

 
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Performed by Ernie Mayne (1871-1937)
From monologues.co.uk Music Hall Lyrics Collection
 
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