LET'S HAVE A TIDDLEY AT THE MILK BAR
 
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Milk bars.... I'd like to know just how they grow and why we see them everywhere,
Milk bars.... is it the dairies or the fairies who decide to put them there?
Milk bars.... I used to think it was a drink for little kids of two or three,
Milk bars.... but nowadays the only's the daily way for you and me.

Let's have a tiddley at the milk bar
Let's make a night of it tonight,
Let's have a tiddley at the milk bar
Let's paint the town a lover-ly white
You'll buy half a pint, I'll buy half a pint
We'll try to drink a pint somehow
So let's have a tiddley at the milk bar
And drink to the dear ol' cow.

Milk bars.... they sell the liquor that the vicar can't complain about, at all,
Milk bars.... you go to bed instead of sleeping in the hall,
Milk bars.... I wish they'd been upon the scene when dear old father went astray,
Milk bars.... I don't suppose his ruddy nose would be the same as it is today.

Let's have a tiddley at the milk bar
Let's make a night of it tonight,
Let's have a tiddley at the milk bar
Let's paint the town a lover-ly white
You'll buy half a pint, I'll buy half a pint
We'll try to drink a pint somehow
So let's have a tiddley at the milk bar
And drink to the dear ol' cow.

Spoken...
Ah! it's great... a glorious institution.
What do you do when you see an old friend?... you say, "Come and 'ave one!"
Now you can take 'im by the arm an' say, "Come an' 'ave a tiddley at the milk bar!"
Ha, ha!... and what's more, you can 'ave 'alf a dozen and come out the same way you went in!... no muzzy 'ead, no looking for a lamp-post that isn't there...

So let's have a tiddley at the milk bar
And drink to the dear ol' cow.

 
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Written and composed by Noel Gay
Recorded by Nellie Wallace (1870-1948)
 
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