THE MAN WITH A TEAR IN HIS VOICE
 
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To you, a lifelong secret, I'm about to start confiding,
An open secret which I will admit there is no hiding;
Although by nature, I am what you might call energetic,
My principal attraction is a voice most sympathetic.
There's something in my vocal organ, yarns I am not spinning
Which connoisseurs and other people designate as winning,
It does not matter what I say, into the vilest bathos
I cannot help infusing just a little dash of pathos.

Chorus: There was always a tear in my voice,
When my friends called on me to rejoice,
And they told me I cried,
I retorted, they lied,
I'm a man with a tear in my voice.

My parents, when they found it out, did what they could to cure it,
I'm told that as an infanf even I could not endure it.
I had a way of talking to myself when they would let me,
But very soon I had to give it up it so upset me.
I might perhaps explain it, had I quoted Scott and Schiller,
I only knew one story, that was Jack the Giant Killer,
I used to spout it when alone, but to my consternation,
Just listening to my own voice brought on nervous irritation.

Chorus: There was always that tear in my voice,
People fancied I could not rejoice,
Now it was not that I
Really wanted to cry,
I was born with a tear in my voice!

I sought relief in distant climes, Bow, Peckham, Yokohama,
Came back again to London town and went in for the drama,
I interviewed a manager who said your face is funny,
In rough and tumble farce you ought to make a lot of money.
He cast me for a comic part on which the play depended,
But never once to smile on me, the audience condescended,
The papers said, 'The feelings of the house were down to zero,
The gent who played the comic part's a sympathetic hero!'

Chorus: Just because of that tear in my voice,
As a matter of fact I'd no choice,
I admit people chaffed,
When they ought to have laughed,
Just because I'd a tear in my voice!

 
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Written and composed by Albert Chevalier & Alfred H. West
Performed by Albert Chevalier (1861-1923)
From monologues.co.uk Music Hall Lyrics Collection
 
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