THE MEETING OF THE CLANS
 
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We've had a rare diversion,
We've had a fine old racket,
Because my Mary Ann, last week
Brought me a new prize packet.
The baby was but two hours old
When, thanks to someones labours,
The glorious news got spread about,
To all our friends and neighbours.

Chorus: Then, oh, what a meeting of the clans there was,
All dear friends of Mary Ann's,
Big and little and old and young,
Any amount of cheek and tongue,
Ah, such a meeting of the clans.

They pinched and mauled the darling,
Sure, them I couldn't baffle,
As if it was a sucking pig,
Won in a Christmas raffle.
And when it was admired enough,
Cries Mother Burke, the gaby,
'I know where they sell fine 'Old Tom'
Let's go and wet the baby.'

Chorus:

Soon they got playing skittles,
With Mr. Landlord's glasses;
He sent for six big policemen to
Eject those playful lasses.
'Charge, sisters, charge!' cries Mother Burke,
The silliest of creatures;
A new Charge of the Light Brigade,
Went for those p'licemen's features.

Chorus:

Of course, you'll guess the sequal,
Through their unseemly flutters,
Those turtle doves were taken off To quod on several shutters.
Now, let's hope wetting baby's head
To them may prove a warning,
For when I got a half-day off,
And went to court next morning,

Chorus: Oh, what a meeting of the clans there was,
All dear friends of Mary Ann's,
Forty bob or a month apiece,
Those were the Terms of their release
Oh, such a meeting of the clans.

 
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Written and composed by J.P. Harrington & Orlando Powell
Performed by Pat Rafferty (1861-1952)
From monologues.co.uk Music Hall Lyrics Collection
 
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