A MILLIONAIRE
 
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You'll tumble by my dress that I'm a regular howling swell
I've just come from Johannesburg, three miles from Camberwell
And in the sealskin diamond fields a lot of wealth I've made
Though I'm an orphan by my birth, today I am by trade,

Chorus: A millionaire - if you want further proof
Just look at my feet for I have lots of oof
When I go out the dumb girls all declare
I'm a silver-plated, elevated, howling millionaire.


I went out to South Africa, for half an hour or two
A place where you make money fast, especially with some glue
While in Johannesburg I strolled about the Boulevards
I found a lot of diamonds there upon a pack of cards.

Chorus: A millionaire, in fact, I'm two or three
With £. s. d. especially the d.
The folks all say I've whiskers in my hair
I'm a new quadrillion, billion, silv'ren, trillion, millionaire.


I found a lovely lot of gold while I was digging there
And when I came back home I found my wife had golden hair
She'd got some lovely diamonds too which made me shout 'Oh my'
But my lot came from Johnnyysburg and her from Johnny's 'sky'.

Chorus: A millionaire with lots of blooming tin
It's lovely tin, that once had salmon in
And every tongue - the boiled ones too - declare
I'm a Covent Garden, six three farthings, howling millionaire.


I give a golden dinner to my dear friend every year
We've golden kippers, golden cloud and golden four-penny beer
We don't have many toasts because they soak the butter up
And while the landlord drains the street we drain old fortune's cup.

Chorus: A millionaire, a man of rank and gold
Yes, on the rank - the horses there I hold
I've lots of wealth, but I dunno are it where
I'm a well-connected, disinfected, blooming millionaire.
 
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Performed by Cliff Ryland (1856-1930)
 
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