MR. LIDDLE AND MISS RIDDLE
 
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I sing of Mr. Liddle,
Who lived in a country town,
Who not only played the fiddle,
But he'd gained such great renown,
For he taught the people dancing,
And included in his class,
There was I and Bella Riddle,
A delightful country lass!

Chorus: As he played upon the fiddle,
Going up and down the middle,
He was smiling on Miss Riddle,
'Til annoyed I would become;
But Miss Arabella Riddle,
Doated on this individle,
(points to himself)
So we diddled Mr Liddle,
Diddle, liddle, liddle, lum.

(Sing and dance.) Diddle, liddle, liddle, lum,
Diddle, liddle, liddle, lum,
Diddle, liddle, liddle, liddle,
Liddle, liddle, liddle, lum!

To Arabella Riddle,
I had been some time engaged,
And the looks of Mr. Liddle,
I confess made me enraged;
For he thought that every girl,
Who practised dancing in his class,
Was in love with him for he
Was such a great conceited ass.

Chorus:

To restrain my hate of Liddle,
I discovered was in vain,
I'd have to put him on a griddle,
And have revelled in his pain;
And distinctly I told Bella,
That some night there'd he a scene,
Tho' I tried to gulp my feelings,
And to keep calm and serene.

Chorus:

Said Arabella Riddle,
You are foolish Charlie, dear,
And I'm sure of Mr. Liddle,
You need never have no fear;
I believed the girl of course, but said
I don't wish to be rash,
But if Liddle looks at you again,
His fiddle I shall smash!

Chorus:

Well the next night Mr. Liddle
Worked me up to such a pitch,
That I whispered to Miss Riddle,
"How to strike him I do itch!"
He was dressed up to the nines too,
And was so intensely vain,
That when he spoke to my Bella,
I no longer could restrain!

Chorus: As he played upon the fiddle,
I just landed Mr. Liddle,
'Midst a shriek from Bella Riddle,
That struck all the others dumb.
I blacked both the eyes of Liddle,
And I broke his blooming fiddle,
And I married Bella Riddle,

(Sing and dance.) Diddle, liddle, liddle, lum,
Diddle, liddle, liddle, lum,
Diddle, liddle, liddle, liddle,
Liddle, liddle, liddle, lum!

 
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Written and composed by Arthur Lloyd - 1882
Performed by Arthur Lloyd (1840-1904)
From monologues.co.uk Music Hall Lyrics Collection
 
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