MY HUSBAND'S LEFT ME AGAIN
 
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My husband's always running away
Thro' trivial things I do and say
At a quarter to three I got a shock
For he came home, but at three o' clock.

Chorus: My husband left me again. My husband left me again
Because I concocted a splendid plan
And put in the window a card which ran
'Lodgings here for a smart young man.'
My husband left me again.


I went to party a short time ago
Attended by several friends I know
I own I got a trifle gay
And through that party, I'm sorry to say.

Chorus: My husband left me again. My husband left me again
It was such a glorious party that
It was three in the morn when I reached our flat
In a soldiers coat and a policeman's hat
And my husband left me again.


Last Saturday night I'd my supper too late
And nightmare resulted, I'm sorry to state
Like lady MacBeth, I started to creep
And because I trotted around in my sleep.

Chorus: My husband left me again. My husband left me again
I'd nightmare badly the whole night through
And walked about in my sleep it's true
And because our lodger had nightmares too
My husband left me again.


My old man often deserts me, alack
Because I put my cold 'toots' on his back
Last night in bed I was cold as sleet
And becauseI wanted to warm my feet.

Chorus: My husband left me again. My husband left me again
I told him he was the worst of brutes
Then flop on his back went my cold, cold 'toots'
And because I'd forgotten to take off my boots
My husband left me again.


I've read in the papers now and then
Of women who've poisoned their old men
In water they flypapers soak
I said aloud, 'What a splendid joke'

Chorus: My husband left me again. My husband left me again
Our house is chock full of flies, no kid
So I bought a gross of flypapers, I did
Then because I insured him for fifty quid
My husband left me again.


My husband would daily rave and swear
Because his trousers showed signs of wear
The children yelled to him 'Giddy gout'
And because his white flag was hanging out.

Chorus: My husband left me again. My husband left me again
I stitched a patch on his only pair
Then he donned those pants and sat on a chair
I didn't know I'd left the needle there
Till my husband left me again.


My husband is such a jealous man
He's so fond of his Mary Ann
While passing a clothes-line somewhere near
I said, 'I know some of that washing, dear.'

Chorus: My husband left me again. My husband left me again
We were passing the clothes when I murmured, 'Oh,
That nightshirt belongs to your old pal Joe
And without asking me how I got to know
My husband left me again.
 
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Performed by George Bastow (1871-1914)
 
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