MY WIFE'S SISTER'S PUSSY CAT
 
div
 

One night about a week ago I had a very funny job
My old woman's sister said she would present me with a bob
Took me in her confidence and told me after that
She would let me have another if I drowned the pussy cat
Off I went to do it in the twinkling of an eye
Put the money in my 'sky' - pussy had to die
When I went to settle him I found that I'd been had
She never said a word about the cat was raving mad.

Chorus: Talk about a pussy cat having nine lives
This old Tom cat had ninety
Underneath the water then I hit him with a mop
Then I got another pail and bunged it on the top
When I thought I'd settled him I went and had a look
Then I found the bounder sitting on the mat.
With a twinkle in his eye, said 'e didn't mean to die
Oh, the bucket it was empty 'cause he'd drunk the water dry
Did my wife's sister's pussy cat.

I had to call the lodger down - he's a Thursday volunteer
He was rocky on his pins - he was full of ginger-beer
Once he said he'd settled him - nabbed him by the scrag
Then between the pair of us we dumped him in a bag
Pulling out his bayonet he flashed it in the air
At the bag he made a tear - pussy wasn't there
When I went to look for him he put me in a fog
I went to jamb him with a fork but stuck it in the dog.

Chorus: Talk about a pussy cat having nine lives
This old Tom cat had ninety
Running up the waterspout he very quickly fled
Through a window where the missis she had gone to bed
The lodger made a mess of it and tumbled in the room
And the missis shouted out, 'Whatever's that?',
Scrambled underneath the bed pulled the clothes around 'er 'ead
The lodger 'e was stroking at the 'air upon 'er 'ead
For my wife's sister's pussy cat.

I went and left the lodger there to settle matters with the wife
I followed up the pussy-cat I meant to have his very life
After hunting high and low was going to give it best
I found him in the hen coup sitting on the nest
I was lost for what to do, so went and got a gun
Took it in the chicken run - pussy thought it fun
Bang went the bullet, he defied the shot and shell
He only laughed and wagged his tail
And said, 'You've rung the bell.'

Chorus: Talk about a pussy cat having nine lives
This old Tom cat had ninety
In between the mangle I then tried to do him in
The missis came and collared me and said it was a sin
Brought a pudding what she'd made a week or two before
And said, 'Let Pussy have a go at that.'
Well pussy 'ad a sniff, ate the pudding in a jiff
Dropped his carcass on the mat, did a kick an' 'e was dead
My wife's sister's pussy cat.

 
div
 
Written and performed by Harry Champion & Robert Gorman - 1907
Performed by Harry Champion (1865-1942)
 
More Harry Champion
 
div
 
 
home spaceA spaceB spaceC spaceD spaceE spaceF spaceG spaceH spaceI spaceJ spaceK spaceL spaceM spaceN spaceO spaceP spaceQ spaceR spaceS spaceT spaceU spaceV spaceW spaceX spaceY spaceZ