NAN, NAN, NAN
 
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Once my face was bare, had no hair, growin' there upon it;
So my wife said: 'Dan, be a man. Grow some whiskers on it.
You can't tickle me,' whispered she, with a grin.
She pulled some hairs out of a broom and stuck 'em round me chin.
Day and night she watered them till they began to sprout.
Now when I walk up our alley all the children shout:

Chorus: 'Nan, Nan, Nan, Nan, Nan, Nan, Nan, Nan, Nan, Nan, Nanny!
You've got grandfather's whiskers.' I'll go: 'Poor old granny!'
The girls they love to tickle 'em an' use 'em for a fan.
When I go out the kids all shout: 'Nan, Nan, Nan, Nan, Nan!'
'Nan, Nan, Nan, Nan, Nan, Nan, Nan, Nan, Nan, Nan, Nanny!
You've got grandfather's whiskers.' I'll go: 'Poor old granny!'
The girls they love to tickle 'em an' use 'em for a fan.
When I go out the kids all shout: 'Nan, Nan, Nan, Nan, Nan!'

When it's nice and ripe, in my pipe I smoke it for tobacco.
Gaffer t'other day. thought 'twas hay, gave some to 'is knacker.
And I often find, just be'ind, near me chest,
A pair of little sparrers 'ave got in and made a nest.
While they let their young'uns on me whiskers 'ave a swing,
They drop their eggs all down me legs and the old cock bird will sing:

Chorus: 'Nan, Nan, Nan, Nan, Nan, Nan, Nan, Nan, Nan, Nan, Nanny!
You've got grandfather's whiskers.' I'll go: 'Poor old granny!'
The girls they love to tickle 'em an' use 'em for a fan.
When I go out the kids all shout: 'Maaaair! Maaaair! Maaaair!'
'Nan, Nan, Nan, Nan, Nan, Nan, Nan, Nan, Nan, Nan, Nanny!
You've got grandfather's whiskers.' I'll go: 'Poor old granny!'
The girls they love to tickle 'em an' use 'em for a fan.
When I go out the kids all shout: 'Nan, Nan, Nan, Nan, Nan!'

People call me Nan; I'm a man, so I think it's silly.
Nanny goats are shes, if you please, I must be a Billy.
Just because I've got, this 'ere lot, on my chin,
The landlord thought 'e'd take me down but 'e got taken in.
He said: 'Good morning, Mr Goat. I want your rent old chum.'
I ducked me nut and made a butt and bucked 'im in the tum tum tum tum

Chorus: 'Nan, Nan, Nan, Nan, Nan, Nan, Nan, Nan, Nan, Nan, Nanny!
You've got grandfather's whiskers on I'll tell poor old granny!'
The girls they love to tickle 'em an' use 'em for a fan.
When I go out the kids all shout: 'Nan, Nan, Nan, Nan, Nan!'
'Nan, Nan, Nan, Nan, Nan, Nan, Nan, Nan, Nan, Nan, Nanny!
You've got grandfather's whiskers.' I'll go: 'Poor old granny!'
The girls they love to tickle 'em an' use 'em for a fan.
When I go out the kids all shout: 'Nan, Nan, Nan, Nan, Nan!'

 
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Performed by Harry Champion (1865-1942)
From monologues.co.uk Music Hall Lyrics Collection
 
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