THE NAUGHTY BOY
 
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While walking t'other day when the snow had cleared away,
Merely for a little relaxation,
I came upon a lad, who was crying oh! - like mad,
As if he'd undergone some castigation.
So loudly he did cry, of a woman standing by
I tried to get a little information,
I asked her who he was, and if she could tell the cause
Of the little fellows terrible vexation.

Spoken: "Well sir" she said "he's a very bad boy and he's just had a good welting from his father!" "Well but" I asked "what has he done?" "What has he done?" she exclaimed,

Chorus: He's broke a pane of glass, called his aunty Jane an ass,
Pulled his sister's hair, and kicked his little brother.
When his pa said, "What's amiss?" he made a face like this,
And then he threw a carrot at his mother.

"Oh dear!" I said "that's bad, what a very naughty lad,
Why what's his age? he's surely more than seven."
"Oh!" she said "he's more than that, why the wicked little brat,
Must be getting on for ten, sir, or eleven,
He's a very naughty boy and his parents do annoy
He pawned his father's shirt the other day, sir,
And as he'd only one I dunno what he'd a done
If my old man had not been in the way, sir.

Spoken: "So my old man lent him one." Then she looked at him and said, "Ugh! you naughty boy." Then I said, "Ugh! you naughty boy! "And a Baker happened to pass and he said, "Ugh! you naughty boy!" then he asked what the boy had done. "What's he done?" I replied,

Chorus: He's broke a pane of glass, called his aunty Jane an ass,
Pulled his sister's hair, and kicked his little brother.
When his pa said, "What's amiss?" he made a face like this,
And then he threw a carrot at his mother.

The baker said, "Oh dear! you're a naughty boy, I fear,
Your parents ought to give you a good licking."
Then the naughty boy he said, "Go on, go and boil your head,
If you speak to me I'll give you a good kicking."
Well by this time I found that a crowd had gathered round,
And everyone of course began to chatter,
When a member of the force with a voice so loud and hoarse,
Came up and said, "Hullo there! what's the matter?

Spoken: "What's all this about? pass along there please, now then what's the row, eh?" "Oh it's theboy." "The boy? what's he done?" the constable asked. Then the woman and the baker and I and the whole crowd all spoke at once and said,

Chorus: He's broke a pane of glass, called his aunty Jane an ass,
Pulled his sister's hair, and kicked his little brother.
When his pa said, "What's amiss?" he made a face like this,
And then he threw a carrot at his mother.

The member of the force said, "He's naughty, and of course
If he doesn't leave off taking what's not his'n,
Making- faces at his pa, throwing carrots, at his ma,
He'll very shortly find himself in prison."
Then he gave the boy a look and serenely took his hook,
So very grandly crying, Pass along now,
And I hope that every boy will behave and not annoy
His parents and take warning by my song now.

Spoken: And then no boy will ever be naughty enough to,

Chorus: He's broke a pane of glass, called his aunty Jane an ass,
Pulled his sister's hair, and kicked his little brother.
When his pa said, "What's amiss?" he made a face like this,
And then he threw a carrot at his mother.

 
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Written and composed by Arthur Lloyd - 1892
Performed by Arthur Lloyd (1840 - 1904)
From monologues.co.uk Music Hall Lyrics Collection
 
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